Take a bow.

And so The Glasshouse bids adieu to another staff member.

She wasn't there for a long time... And I'm not sure if she had a good time, either! Hehehehe...

The good news is that jelkie will be back for private functions. Yay!

All the best at your new job and I'll see you at the next Bitch is Black!

The Hayley Chronicles

Hayley came over last night and wanted to see my blogsite. More to the point, I think she wanted to see who called her a hottie. Now she wants me to create a blog on her.

That's all well and good but I don't want to. Even with her incessant 'when are you going to start my blog, Jude???' questioning throughout the evening, I'm still not going to do it.

I will, however, continue to talk about her here.

(Note: This blog has no affiliation with 'The Tarnia Chronicles', coming soon to theatres near you)

Emily was robbed!

Even though I think it's much better for Ms. Emily Williams, that she wasn't crowned Australian Idol last night.

Her album is going to be much, much better. But then I think it always would have been better. :)

Now there's always rumour that the contest is rigged. Emily was, by far, the better singer, in my humble opinion. But a little friend of mine told me that the daughter of a fallen pop idol who has *a lot* to do with the show told her who the winner was going to be the night before the Grand Finale.

So there you go. Chinese whispers...

Is it wrong for me to call them 'Chinese' whispers?

Lisa, it's your birthday...

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

La la la... I don't know the rest of the words.... Doobie doobie doo....

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

Love your guts!

Carson Kressley would be proud.

Note how the pool table felt coordinates with her armbands, which coordinate with the lettering on the front of her t-shirt which, in turn, co-ordinates with her hair tie and... well... her underpants.

The blue driving hat throws everything off.

She missed this shot too. Too short and too proud to use the helping stick thing. She did win 2 out of 3 though.

From another angle...

a.k.a. My Christmas tree is better than yours.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

This is the Christmas tree at Federation Square. You can sort of see it in those photos of the Industrial Relations Reform protests. But this is it in all its metal glory.

Maybe I'll even go take photos of the Myer Christmas Windows... Not really. That involves being around large crowds. Ick.

A break from the violence.

It's been a quiet week for GTA, what with the sleeping and the attending of the RMIT BAM 2005 Graduate Exhibition (yay to Andi again!).

I did turn the PS2 on last night. I thought I'd give dating Millie a go. Surprisingly enough, she was at home the first time I went around and I found a restaurant in an area that she likes and it was all smooth sailing. I might melee attack her with a bouquet of flowers next time. You can actually do this. I did this the first time with Denise because I didn't know that to hand your girlfriend the flowers, you press 'L1' and not 'O' (which is the attack button). Yes... even with all my cheat notes and walkthroughs, I can still do stupid things. I'm very talented.

Since I had the PS2 on, I thought I'd just drive around Las Venturas and see if there were any side missions to do. I think I'm just avoiding doing any missions that involve flying. Flight school was very traumatic, after all.

In my travels, I happened to stumble upon Officer Tenpenny and I thought I'd see what he wanted. He asked me to track an agent and re-acquire some vital evidence being held against him. I thought this would be easy enough and would involve a car chase. I don't know why I keep trying to predict this game. I ended up having to chase the agent in a helicopter. I actually caught up to him!!! Then I gunned him down in a carpark and stole his briefcase and that was that.

Realising that there's probably no way I'm going to get around these flying missions, I turned off the PS2. I don't foresee any progress unless tonight's dinner is cancelled or I decide not to go to work tomorrow night. And no, I'm not contemplating chucking a sickie either.

So until Saturday, it's timeout for Carl Johnson.

Congratulations!!!

To Andi and Nat for finishing their degrees!

Hoorah to no more school!

180 posts for 1800 visits

Yay!

Bozo.

Aerobics Oz Style

This morning, as I ate my cereal, I switched on the television to check the weather. My TV happened to be on Channel 10, which screens 'Aerobics Oz Style' every weekday morning from 6:30 - 7:00am. Normally, before the picture comes up, I turn the channel. This morning, I was somewhat drawn to the show and couldn't turn the channel.

Was it because instead of there being just one lead doing all the instructing, she was going around the mats and getting each, um, fitnessperson to 'show us her favourite exercise'? Was it because each fitnessperson tried to outdo each other? Was it because they were throwing the lead off with their tricky steps? Was it because I thought that *finally*, I was finally going to learn how to do The Grapevine properly?

Whatever it was, I watched for about 5 minutes. I did not march in place during the ad breaks. I did, however, dress inappropriately for today's weather. Rah.

My new bag

Big, big thank you to Joyce, for getting this bag for me for Christmas! Tis the season to be getting Christmas gifts early! (Jane - take note!)

I've been looking for a bag for ages and I finally have one. It has so many pockets, I can't even work out what you'd need so many pockets for! I bet as soon as I put things in it, I'll lose them. I've been annoying JGT for the past half hour with each new pocket discovery. Who would have thought that a canvas bag would provide such entertainment?

Very good!

Did someone say reform?

Where's Wally?

These photos were taken from www.theage.com.au, Fairfax Publications.

These aerial photos are of the Industrial Relations Rally held in Melbourne this morning. What you're seeing is about 175,000 pissed off workers converging on Federation Square. Similar rallies were held in the capital cities around Australia.

Good times.

I love this chair (and it's sidekick, Ottoman)

If ever I was going to splurge on a designer chair, it would be this... the Up2000 by B+B Italy. Apparently it's very comfortable too.

I might head to the local stockist this weekend and see what it looks like in real life. Although, I might have to put a suit on before they let me in the door.

I believe this is the furniture store (I'm sure they'd shudder if they heard me call them 'stockist' or 'furniture store') that employs a doorman.

GTA Progress Report #6

So I've given you an update on my 'Learning to Fly' expedition. Now a brief rundown on the missions I've completed since then:

Boat School: Seeing as I couldn't fly, I decided to learn how to pilot a boat. These lessons weren't too difficult and were a lot of fun... except for when I had to jump 55 metres in a hovercraft and couldn't hit the ramp on the correct angle. The first time I went through Boat School, I managed to clear 55 metres on my second attempt. Unfortunately, in a lesson further on, I flipped my boat and drowned. There's no save point anywhere near the boat school so you pretty much have to pass them all at once. Oh well, I didn't mind repeating some of the slalom races.

Fender Ketchup: Now this mission was fun. I had a Mafia guy strapped to the hood of my car and I had to drive around like a maniac until he was so scared that he gave up some info. I crashed a few times and killed him but that's ok. At least I got to practice my handbrake turns.

Explosive Situation: This mission was a pain in the butt. Getting the 4 sticks of dynamite wasn't hard but getting out of the quarry was #&*#^*%!!! I had to use a dirtbike and ride up narrow ramps, do a couple of jumps, yadda yadda... I kept falling off and having to start all over again. There were only maybe 6 checkpoints but it was HELL! Finally, I made it through only to miss the jump over the quarry fence and ended up getting wasted at the gates... and having to do it all over again. Eventually I made it through.

Architectural Espionage: This wasn't too difficult. I killed a tourist, stole his camera, made my way to the planning department, caused a fire, photographed a blueprint, then headed back to see Woozie.

You've Had Your Chips: This mission was very frustrating. The beginning was funny because someone had been bringing in fake poker chips to the Four Dragons Casino (Woozie's casino). The fake chips made a mockery of Woozie as the dragon on the poker chip was wearing sunglasses and carrying a white cane. You see, Woozie likes to pretend he's not blind. It was my job to go to the plastics factory and destroy the counterfeit chip machines. This took me so long because I kept getting killed. Those Mafia guys have very powerful rifles. (Note: A very special thank you goes out to Brooke who gave me a hint on passing this mission.)

Key to Her Heart: I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Millie and she's a Croupier at the Mafia-owned Caligula Casino. She gave me a gimp suit. I need to wine and dine her in order to steal her security keycard. This should be interesting.

The Truth called me. Told me he left a couple of English blokes out in the desert and I had to go find them. So I did and they made me take them to a Snake Farm. Thankfully, there were no snakes shown because I would have had to turn the game off at that point. I don't care if they're animated video game snakes... A snake is a snake and I hate them.

Anyway, after rescuing the Poms from the desert and taking them back into town, I'm now able to complete missions for Ken Rosenberg, who apparently is from GTA Vice City. I'm in the process of trying to complete a mission for him... it involves chasing down 3 ambulances, ramming it, then getting the person in the ambulance to an abbatoir. As I haven't been able to finish this mission yet, I don't know why we're taking him to the abbatoir... but I'm sure there's good reason.

And that pretty much brings us up to scratch. Believe it or not, I did get out of my house this weekend.

Guess who has their pilot's licence?!?!?!?

Yes! I finally did it! It took me about 3 hours but I finally passed all the flying tests!

I finally got the hang of turning my airplane without doing barrel rolls and was able to circle the runway. Then I had to circle the runway AND land. I probably could have done that in 3-4 attempts only when they said 'BANK RIGHT for the runway', I kept going left and crashing because the runway wasn't there. My fault. :)

After I did that, I had to learn how to fly a helicopter. That wasn't so bad... until I had to destroy the targets, which consisted of 3 parked semi-trailers and then 2 moving vehicles. This took me longer to master than circling the runway. In the end, I just kept firing missiles in the general direction and hoped that I would get lucky (punk).

And the final test was parachuting and landing on the target. Fortunately there were no small pools of water for me to land face first in and drown.

And that was it... Pilot's license obtained. This opened up Las Venturas and I was able to carry on my missions for Woozie, the blind Triad leader. Much to my dismay, however, none of the first few missions for Woozie required flying skills.

Grrrr......

An Afternoon at The Park

You might look like this too if you were in the middle of a 15-hour workday.

And today in the news...

I know something you don't know...

Steamed vegies anyone?

The Friendly Skies

Note: The following post is not GTA related.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from Qantas. They were calling to inform me that not only would the call be monitored for training purposes, but also that my flight to Sydney on 24th December will not be operational and that I have been re-assigned to a later flight.

Yesterday, in case you don't have access to a calendar, was 10th November.

Does anyone else find it odd that they were cancelling the flight 6.5 weeks ahead of schedule?

By the way, that's 6.5 weeks 'til Christmas!!!

A break from flying...

Since I discovered that I'll have to do all 10 Flight Lessons in one go, I've decided to put that mission on hold for a while. Last night, I decided to go oyster hunting. There are 50 oysters located in the game. Oysters improve your sex appeal so that the ladies will like you. I'm having a lot of trouble dating Michelle so this can only help.

(I tried to find a picture of an oyster to put in this blog but there wasn't one on the first search so I just let that dream go.)

So off I went to find a boat. I found one pretty quickly but as I was oyster-diving, it disappeared! RAH! Needless to say, I spent a lot of time swimming around the three islands. On the plus side, I have increased my lung capacity and can now stay underwater much longer.

I think I ended up finding about 30+ oysters in Los Santos and San Fierro. I was off to grab another oyster when suddenly I had my parachute on and was belly-flopping into a pond! I tried getting up but no, there I was, doing the Dead Man's Float in the tiniest body of water. I tried opening the parachute and that did nothing. I even tried shooting myself out of the water too. Nada.

I ended up having to turn the game off. AND I don't know when I last saved. This could almost turn out to be more frustrating than Flight School.

My new bike pump

I bought this on eBay yesterday and it arrived today. The turnaround on this item was approximately 20 hours.

Now that's what I call service!

My bike now has more accessories than I do.

From the Winnipeg Community Services Department

I found this very interesting...

http://www.cbc.ca/manitoba/indepth/restinspec200511.pdf

Didn't we used to go to Marigold's a lot?

Here we go...

James just asked, 'It's a bit early for pizza, isn't it, Jude?'

Grrrrr....

Nooooooooooooooooo.....

Last night, as I was waiting for Jimmy and Edwin to arrive for dinner, I decided to give the flying lessons another go. You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that I had to re-do the two tests I had already passed.

Damn you, Rockstar Games!!!

This means I'm going to have to go back to Driving School and do those tests over too!

At least now I can go do other things and not be hassled by Toreno to complete Flight School. There are lots of sidegames that I want to tackle... As well as find the hidden oysters.

Oh, and there's Michelle too... She will be mine!

www.mezabel.com

My records are here! That was incredibly fast. Normally there's a two-day turnaround for record shopping online.

I think I've found my new preferred store.

The only downside is that the records come in a pizza box. Not a plain white one, like with Capital DJ, but a printed one that says 'Enjoy Your Pizza' and has a picture of a chef on the lid.

I always feel a bit stupid walking around carrying a pizza box... Even when it has pizza in it.

I might wrap it in brown paper before I leave...

It's happening again...

I just bought some records.

I know, I know, I've been talking about hanging up the headies but with the Summer Sessions fast approaching, I thought I might get a heads up and start looking for those big summer records now... even if they came out 3 months ago.

It's been two months since I last bought records. My usual online shop, Rhythm & Soul, has been closed for maintenance for at least a week now so I had to shop elsewhere. I chose to shop at Mezabel Online (www.mezabel.com). I used to think that Rhythm & Soul and CapitalDJ were the only places I could shop online. Then I heard Mezabel's ad on Kiss-FM and I think I've found a new favourite.

Trust me, this has *nothing* to do with R&S misplacing my records two shipments ago.

Anyway, $120 later, I have some new vinyl on the way. YAY!

Relief

Last night, I didn't play GTA.

*a collective sigh of relief from my blog-readers*

Instead, Anj came over and we hung out. Then she decided to give me a lesson on kamikaze bike riding as we ventured to Victoria Street for some vietnamese. Of course, we had to find a restaurant where we could sit at the window and watch our bikes because they were certainly being eyed off.

After some viets, we rode to The Park to play some classic video games (Galaga and Burgertime) and Twilight Zone pinball. Anj got her best score ever. I managed not to lose too disastrously, which is usually the case.

Then it was home-time. I got to use the new lights for my bike. Some adjustments need to be made as there is a lot of movement in the headlight and I almost blinded myself.

Meanwhile, Anj and Carol were off to see 'Wolf Creek'. I hope they're ok today. The 1% of me that wants to see it has grown to about 1.5% but when I saw the man walking around The Park wearing a Drizabone and Akubra, that was a big sign saying 'Noooooooooooooooo!'.

Oh, and I won't be playing GTA tonight either. Little Jimmy is coming over and she's anti-games. Curses!

MacGyver (a.k.a. My New Bike Lights)

I bought these through eBay on Wednesday last week and they arrived today. That's pretty quick seeing as they came all the way from Hong Kong!

So off I went at lunchtime to by some AAA batteries so that I could see if these work properly and then leave feedback. I went out side, carjacked a delivery van... hahaha... just joking.

I checked the taillight first and that worked like a dream. Next came the headlight. Much like a flashlight, you unscrew the light to get to the batteries. This had some sort of battery 'cage' which slid out. I inserted the 4 AAA batteries in their correct polarities, *shoved* the battery cage back in, screwed the light back on, clicked once... and it didn't work.

Assuming that I might have placed a battery incorrectly, I took the light off again... only to discover that I couldn't get the battery cage out. Then I recalled the ease at which the cage slid out in the first place and that when I shoved it back in, I did something very, very bad.

It's situations like this where you wish you could just quit and re-load your game.

I took out a set of little screwdrivers and tried prying the cage out. No can do. Then, I disassembled a tea bag so that I could thread the string through the battery contact points and pull. The string snapped. I then used my two pieces of string and threaded them both through for a bit of reinforcement and tried again. This time the cage gave a little. Then both strings snapped.

At this point I decided to hunt around the office for some wire... and stumbled upon a tool kit. The needlenose pliers did the trick and I pulled the cage out and then *slid* it back in. Then I screwed on the light... and blinded myself because I had left the switch on earlier.

Good times.

GTA (lack of) Progress Report #5

It's official. I'm stuck.

Apart from dating Michelle, doing side missions and helping out that geek, Zero, defend his radio controlled airplane shop, I am officially at a standstill in GTA San Andreas.

Having completed my missions for Woozie and Toreno, I recently purchased the airplane graveyard out at Verdant Meadows. Unfortunately this means that I have to learn how to fly now. And I can't do anything else until I learn how to fly as I will need a pilot's licence to progress in the game.

There are 10 lessons and I have to achieve 70% in each to pass. So far, I can take off (Lesson 1) and land (Lesson 2). Turning is a big no can do. I don't even want to think of what the other 7 lessons are!

Lesson 3 requires that I circle the airfield. I can choose to do it clockwise or counterclockwise. Considering it took me 7 attempts to fly in a straight line, I didn't really care which direction I was going in, especially since I kept nose-diving into the cliff face. Trust me, the cliffs aren't that close to the airfield.

I tell you what, I cannot wait to get out of the desert. These cliffs and sand dunes are going to be the death of me. In fact, they have been the death of me... several times!

Clearly this whole flight school thing was very stressful so I decided to abandon it and do other things... Only to have Toreno call me every 2 minutes and tell me to get my derriere back to the Flight School and complete the lessons... Or I would never find Sweet.

So I decided to give GTA Vice City a go. Once you've played San Andreas, you can't go back in time. The graphics are poor, the movements are jerky... but I think that's because I have to improve my skills seeing as I'm starting from scratch. Anyway, I got wasted pretty quickly in Vice City so I gave up there and called it a night.

Tonight I'm going to try and pass the Flight School mission. And you'll hear all about whether I succeed or fail.

If it weren't for my iPod Shuffle...

I would have to listen to the drunks who get on the tram on Monday mornings.

I wouldn't have been able to ignore the junkie trying to talk to me on the tram this morning.

I would have had to listen to the woman who was in dire need of a tissue the other morning.

I wouldn't have yelled 'WOULD YOU LIKE SOME UMBRELLA?!?!' at the nice lady at the tram stop yesterday afternoon when it was bucketing down and scared the crap out of her. But that's a different story...

So once again, I would like to say thank you to Julie for getting me the Shuffle. I'm a less angry person these days because of it.

Except when iTunes is playing up. Grrrrr.

And it wasn't just chopper-related incidents...

Toreno wanted me to hijack a semi-trailer. In order to do this, I had to engage the help of Cesar, who had the dubious task of doing the actual hijacking.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain the correct speed and distance from a semi-trailer so your sister's boyfriend can hop onto the rig? Meanwhile, while this is happening, the rig is swerving from side to side and throwing taxis and other vehicles into your path? And, just to throw me off a little more, Cesar was yelling in my ear the whole time, sounding a whole lot like that crazy Catalina.

(Sidebar: Catalina, by the way, has taken to prank-calling me at random intervals. It's rather hilarious!)

Anyway, Cesar and I managed to hijack the rig... Only for me to lose the cargo, trying to turn the damn thing around. After 5 minutes of trying to re-attach the load as well as being dragged out of the cab by other angry drivers who I'm holding up on the freeway (it was like Rodney King all over again), I had to restart the game.

The second time that we managed to hijack the rig, I was nearly home-free... and I lost the rig again. Because I was virtually 5 metres from the finally checkpoint, I had no choice but to manouevre around tediously until I re-attached the trailer. And just to make things worse, my engine had started smoking. (A smoking engine soon turns into an exploding vehicle.)

I did, however, note that once I made it to the checkpoint, in the cut scene, Cesar took all the glory and parked the rig in the garage.

Dumb jerk.

Another GTA mishap

This sort of passes as a progress report but it's also an indication of how poorly I was playing on Sunday.

In a separate mission, I was *in* a helicopter that was going out to a cargo ship anchored in the harbour as a Jedi Master (he looked like one) was holding some refugees hostage in a cargo container. It was my objective to free the refugees.

So we're in the helicopter and I'm manning the mini-gun, trying to shoot down all the Da Nang boys who are shooting at us with various weapons and a couple of RPGs. Eventually, we get cut down by a missile and it's into the water I go, losing my entire cache of weapons. I did, however, manage to keep my knife. Stealth attacks were in order, so it seems.

It took me ages to navigate around the cargo ship and every now and then, I fell off some crates and hurt myself. Sometimes, I couldn't even climb up the crates.

Eventually I managed to free the refugees. Then it was up to me find the Jedi, who was up on the bridge doing tai chi. Silly man thought that he had a chance by engaging me in a katana fight to the death but 3 quick movements and he was down and out.

Finally, it was off to meet the refugees who were waiting for me to hold their hands and take them down to the dinghys. As I made my way from the bridge to where the refugees were waiting for me... I WALKED OFF THE SHIP.

Fortunately for my controller, I didn't die in the fall and was able to swim back around the ship, make my way back up and free the refugees.

GTA Progress Report #4

Sunday... my day of rest. I woke up, went and picked up the Sunday paper, dodged the shopping bus ladies, had some breakfast, watched a bit of cricket then decided it was time to envoke the spirit of Carl Johnson and complete some missions.

For some reason, I couldn't walk, drive or shoot anything properly. Certain angles were giving me vertigo. Everything just kept going wrong and I couldn't work out *how* I had all of a sudden forgotten how to play GTA.

Here's the perfect example: I set out to the desert to collect some contraband for an undercover agent who is holding out on me about the whereabouts of my critically injured brother. After driving aimlessly, I finally make it to the first meeting point where I am yelled at for taking so long. It's not my fault that I was driving a dune buggy and kept getting run off the road by cars going 100km/hr...

At the checkpoint, I changed vehicles. First, I selected the dirt bike which I promptly rode into the dam. I then carjacked a vehicle and went back to the checkpoint to select another all-terrain vehicle. This time I took the 4-wheeler and drove it off a cliff. Back to the checkpoint where I took the only remaining vehicle which was one those things that they race at motorcross races... It's got four wheels, a cage... you know. With this vehicle, I made it to the top of the mountain where I was meeting the helicopter... and I *walked* off the cliff.

After several attempts, I finally made it to the meeting point at the summit and awaited the package's arrival. Part of the mission was to destroy any government helicopters that were trying to intercept the package. My rocket launcher ability was hopeless. I couldn't hit anything! Then some guys abseiled down from a chopper and started shooting me. Eventually I was able to down all the choppers... Only to mistakingly shoot down my chopper as well.

Yup, that's right, I shot down my own helicopter. At least three times.

Very quickly, I was reaching breaking point. I couldn't work out what was wrong with me. So I took my cap off (Sunday is hat day) and tried again. This time I passed the mission.

*shakes fist*

Obviously, wearing a baseball cap hinders my ability to play GTA. Which is odd because sometimes the only time I can play Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005 is to wear a beanie.

One more thing... My new girlfriend, Michelle, has not made herself available to be dated since my last disastrous date. I might shoot up her garage.

6:55am, 04-Nov-05, Richmond, Victoria

The Domaine Chandon balloon.

The Nudie Juice balloon.

I live near a lot of ovals and sporting grounds and there are quite a few hot air balloon launches around my house at this time in the morning. You can imagine my surprise the one morning I looked up and saw a house floating above my head. This is the first time I've seen the Nudie Juice balloon so I thought I would celebrate by taking its photo.

Happy Birthday to a wee Scottish lass..

Happy 40th Birthday, Frugal!

Hoorah!

And you thought my GTA blogs were bad. *hmph*

Girl keeps blog on poisoning mother
Tokyo November 3, 2005 - 11:21AM

A 16-year-old Japanese girl was arrested for trying to kill her mother with rat poison and keeping a blog narrating how her condition deteriorated, news reports say.

The girl, part of an elite high school chemistry club, reportedly admired British serial killer Graham Young and kept severed animal body parts including a cat's head in her bedroom.

"Mother has been sick since yesterday, having a rash all over her body," the Asahi Shimbun newspaper quoted the girl as writing on August 19 on the online journal, which was kept under a male name.

Another daily newspaper, the Mainichi Shimbun, reported the blog said on September 12: "Mother is sick today, too. She had been complaining her legs have been out of it for two or three days and she has finally become almost unable to move."

Police found that the dates of the blog matched the illness of her 47-year-old mother, who was in critical condition at a hospital in Shizuoka prefecture southwest of Tokyo, the reports said.

The girl's brother, who thought she was acting suspiciously, reportedly alerted police who examined her computer and discovered the blog.

She is suspected of mixing her mother's food with thallium, a highly toxic but tasteless substance used in the past to kill rodents.

The girl, who kept the blog for more than three months, also wrote of how she duped people around her.

"I got sympathy from my teacher when I tearfully talked about mother. I guess people are cheated more easily than I expected," she wrote, as quoted by the Sankei Shimbun newspaper.

When students were asked in class to name a person they admired, the girl said she respected Young, who started to test poisons on his family at age 14. He later poisoned three people to death and died aged 43 in his prison cell in 1990.

Police declined to comment on the details of the reports but said a 16-year-old girl was arrested on Monday for "trying to kill her own mother with poison."

Her name is not disclosed as she is a minor.

AFP (taken from The Age, 04 November 2005)

Missy Higgins

I've mentioned Missy a couple of times on my blog. Now I would like her to just fade away... Or at least come out with a new album because if I have to hear 'The Special Two' one more time.... Grrrrr!

*shakenbabysyndrome*

The reason we're being inundated with Missy lately is because she recently dominated the ARIAs (Australian for Grammys) and now she's everywhere!!!

Not only that, they've also just released her DVD. Rah!

Flowers, make it stop!

GTA Progress Report #3

Well, I've been progressing along quite nicely in GTA. I won't go through every itty bitty detail but I will say that I am becoming quite the motorcyclist. And my driving skills are improving vastly.

I even managed to win the Valet Parking challenge and somehow that meant I acquired the Valet Parking station which generates an income of $2000. I don't know if that's per day or week or month but I need to go collect that money every so often.

I also now have Hitman status with my Silenced Pistol. Apparently that means that I can run around with one in each hand! I just need to find another Silenced Pistol. And to work out how to arm both hands. How I'm going to drive or ride a motorcycle is beyond me.

Note that I've toned down the violence in my blogs. People are starting to comment. It's a *game*!!! I know this!!! Really!

Oh, and I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Michelle. I met her at the Driving School. She owns a garage and fixes my vehicles for free. If I reach 50% progress with her, she will customise my cars. And when I reach 100%, she will give me a racing suit and keys to her Monster Truck.

*loves it*

P.S. I also just bought the double pack of GTA III and GTA Vice City. GTA Knit Blogger was not made in PS2 format. :)

Because 15MB internal memory is never enough...

This arrived for me yesterday. Note the size of the box compared with my notebook.

And inside the box was this.

And inside the ginormous bubble wrap was this!

Thanks for the 128MB XD card, Jane!

A break from GTA.

Last night, I went over to Anj's for cevapi rolls and playstation.

I *suck* at ESPN NHL 2K5. It is ridiculous how much I suck at it. And there are two pages of controller instructions which include offence/defence/penalty shots/ brawls... I just didn't bother looking at any of them. Sometimes it's best to just press all the buttons and hope that something good happens. Unfortunately, that theory doesn't necessarily apply to hockey. And not knowing the rules doesn't help either. Really though, it has been a helluva long time since I played or even watched hockey... What's 'icing'?

I know... I may as well renounce my Canadian citizenship now.

After what seemed like HOURS, the game finally ended and the Habs (me) lost to the Lightning 1-2. And that was with Anj passing me the puck and trying to leave an open goal.

So then we played Fight Night 2004. This game is great. And it's a bit hilarious when you pit a heavyweight against a featherweight. It's not fair, but it's funny.

Then Carol came home from work and we went to the Marquis of Lorne for pots and shots and pinball. (It's been a long time since I mentioned a pub in my blog.)

I'm very tired today. I was a bit frazzled this morning and took a bit of time getting myself together for work. Then halfway to the tram stop, I realised I hadn't done my hair. I very nearly decided to just keep going but then caved and turned back... and a damn good idea that was to turn back. Crikey!

HEY!

tsaiWare... have you got a link for Grand Theft Auto: Knitblogs on your blog?!?!?!

Returning to the scene of the crime...

Today at lunch, a revisited some of the places that Carol and I went to on my birthday. What I wanted to do was go back to Strike Bowling and see if the concrete etching that Carol made was still there.

Alas, what I discovered was that the etching has been covered up by paving tiles. Looks like Carol had scratched 'SISTER JUDY X' into the concrete basecourse.

*tsai*

Do video games incite violence?

I just thought I'd clarify a few things in case people are starting to think that I'm turning into a gang-bangin', gun-totin' (not picnic-totin') psychopath.

I know GTA is quite violent and sometimes I find myself a bit *too* entertained when I'm standing on a rooftop with my rifle or when I'm running over gang members in my car. But, it hasn't made me want to do these things in real life.

I will admit that when I first started playing GTA, whenever I saw graffiti, I would want to spray paint my tag over it (not that I have a tag). Or if I saw an ambulance or police car parked on the side of the road, it would briefly cross my mind to jump in and complete a vigilante mission.

But I *never* did.

Never.

I used to talk about these things with T because she was playing GTA as well and would think the same things. As far as I know, T hasn't turned into a homicidal maniac either.

As far as I know...

GTA Progress Report #2

Having discovered that I longer had to date Denise, I left Ganton and made my way to Red County to see if I could get rid of Catalina once and for all by beating her in the street race. I read through all my cheats and walkthroughs and found a way to get rid of the other three cars in the race. I invoked the 'Flying Cars' cheat before the race started and just as we took off, the other cars magically flew off the cliff and into oblivion.

Of course, I tried to drive slowly so that I too didn't fly off any cliffs. But I did. Just once. So I had to start again and eventually after six and a half minutes of excruciatingly painful slow driving (as well as deactivating the cheat), I made it to the finish line and won a deed to a rundown garage in a new county.

Before I could get to the garage, I had to help The Truth destroy his marijuana plantation and then shoot down a police helicopter. After that, The Truth and I went and recruited some fellas to work in my garage. Having set up shop, I decided to do a bit of exploring around San Fierro. I bought a few properties and also discovered that I'd opened up a new clothing store called ZIP. Naturally, I bought an entire new wardrobe.

And now I'm stuck again. My next two tasks are a little bit tricky. One involves shooting down dive-bombing model airplanes. I'm not sure if I need to pass this to continue so I might leave it for now. The other task I haven't even looked at yet but I've read that it's tricky because not only is it timed, but you have to return a car without hitting anything! I can't even turn my car around without hitting anything.

Tonight, I think I'm taking a break from GTA and going over to Anj's so we can play NHL 2K5. Very good!

Now to find the cheats.... hehehehe... *grin*

GTA Progress Report #1

So it was back to the game last night...

I thought that I hadn't reached 100% with dating Denise but I read this morning that when you get the pimp suit, that means you've reached 100%. Had I known that on Monday when she gave me the suit, I wouldn't have wasted all that time last night taking her to the disco! And I wouldn't have cared when I accidentally shot her while we were out doing a drive-by.

Hint: Do not shoot out the passenger side when you're on a date. I only just figured out how I could shoot *and* drive at the same time and I assumed that I would just shoot around her. I guess not.

Anyway, now that I've 'finished' dating Denise, I've got nothing else to do but try and beat nasty Catalina in the street race.

That makes me about as happy as LL after a haircut. (http://formwork.blogspot.com/2005/10/haircut.html)

Catalina

She just looks nasty, don't she?

In case you were wondering...

This is Carl Johnson. He is the main character from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Viva Carl Johnson!!!

I have recently re-acquainted myself with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Jane bought this game for me last Christmas and I used to play it *a lot* earlier this year when I was working at the Glasshouse full time and needed a release for my anger. I used to get home from work at around 4am and turn on my PS2 and shoot people for fun.

Hey, at least I'm not doing it in real life!

On Friday, after five and a half months of sitting on the shelf, I decided to give GTA another go. There were two reasons why I stopped playing GTA back in April. One reason was that I had finished my temporary 3-month stint at the pub. The second reason was that I reached a stage where I couldn't pass a mission and the game was getting extremely frustrating.

Well, I managed to pass that mission and have now progressed further in the game... only to be stuck again. There is a really annoying character, Catalina, who is a psycho latina. I know, I know, it's a bit of a stereotype (think any character Rosie Perez has played) but I didn't write the game, I just play it. It took me several attempts to commit 4 robberies with her, now I have to beat her in a street race... Only we aren't driving on the street but along dirt roads. In sports cars. And I keep flipping my vehicle.

So I've temporarily abandoned that effort until I improve my driving skills. Now I'm back to courting my girlfriend, Denise. I saved Denise from a burning crackhouse many missions ago. Of course, I'm the one that set the house on fire by tossing molotov cocktails through the windows. Denise is demanding but not as much as Catalina. Denise likes to eat and do drive-by shootings. She bought me a pimp suit. It's very ugly.

I'm a bit cranky that I've lost *all* the gang territories that I spent so much time overtaking. Stupid double-crossing friends. Now my neighbourhood is crawling with Ballas (the rival gang). They're even in my street!

Anyway, I'm now going to keep you updated on my GTA progress. It's probably best that I didn't have a blog back when I started playing because there would be a whole lotta more cussing on this and I might have to add a supervisory warning to my blog.

And yes, I play with cheats. I'd still be on the first mission if I didn't have cheats.

So I went on another ride yesterday...

And this time I stuck to the roads. Small steps... :)

When I think back to when I used to ride all the time in Winnipeg, I don't ever remember being worried about getting a puncture, having someone open their car door on me, getting my pant leg caught in the chain, having to get home before dark because I don't have any lights apart from my reflectors, having my quick release parts stolen when I lock my bike up for 10 minutes, etc.

Now it's just stress, stress, stress... there's nothing relaxing about riding a bike!

One thing that does make me happy about having a bike is that on my ride, I noticed a lot of smashed glass, more specifically, car window glass. There are a lot of people breaking into cars in my area so I'm glad I don't have one of those!

Alternatively, it could be my bogan upstairs neighbours bouncing their freakin' football on peoples' cars.

White Rydge

I used to go on a lot of bike rides in Winnipeg. With no helmet, no lights and definitely no fluorescent orange safety vest. These days, it seems you can't do anything without a fluorescent orange safety vest on. I own two of them, actually.

Anyway, one day I decided to ride to White Rydge. I think that's how you spell it. Anyway, I just got onto Chevrier Boulevard and kept riding, knowing that White Rydge was out there somewhere.

As I rode along, I saw a semi-trailer coming towards me so I did the 'pull your horn' motion at the driver. Now there's no real reason why I did this but the semi-trailer driver obliged and pulled his horn. As did the semi-trailer driver coming up behind me. Nearly scared the bejeezus out of me.

In retrospect, I don't think the driver behind me was pulling his horn because I asked him to. I think he did it because I was riding in the middle of the road and was about to be sandwiched by two horn-tooting, 18-wheelers.

I never rode to White Rydge again. I just stuck to our side of the highway after that.

The Slurpee

Another not-so-fond memory that I have of bike rides was when a bunch of us decided to go to 7-Eleven to get some slurpees. I don't know why, but Jane was doubling me and I was riding on the handlebars (I think we may have been on my glorious purple banana seat bike as mentioned in a previous blog).

On the way back, I was still on the handlebars, only this time, I was carrying two slurpees, one for me and one for Jane. Somehow, we managed to miss the first turn into Sandra Bay (most likely something to do with me obstructing Jane's vision) so we had to take the next turn, also into Sandra Bay. Unfortunately, when you go this way, there is a major cycling hazard in the middle of the road in the form of a sewer manhole that sticks out of the ground several centimeters.

Naturally, Jane made a bee-line for said hazard and subsequently, Judy made a beeline for the concrete. I may have saved the Slurpees tho.

To this day, I don't know why I was being doubled and who else was with us. In fact, I don't remember much from before that accident. But, in case you're wondering how we got home after the crash...

Well... I got right back on those handlebars, of course.

My bicycle adventures...

Last week, I went for a bit of a bike ride. Having not ridden a bike in many, many years (apart from when I picked up my bike and rode it home), I thought I would take things on the cautious and very illegal side and ride on as many footpaths as possible. I also decided I would ride around residential areas and, of all places, the local brewery.

I even managed to get a little bit lost. Getting lost isn't as embarrassing as the way I freaked out every time I saw a car coming. But I didn't fall off. Grazing my knees falling off a bike is not a sensation I would like to remind myself of.

Riding in traffic freaks me out, just quietly. And in Melbourne, you have the added concern of getting your tires caught in the tram tracks as well. Now, I'm not sure if my big knobbly tires can get caught in the tracks, but I'm certainly not going to test it.

I remember once in Winnipeg, Corrie and I were riding home from school and we had to cross McGilvarry Boulevard and, of course, we were crossing at the train tracks. We were on our 10-speeds and next thing I knew, Corrie was wiped out on the road because her tire got caught in the train tracks and the cars they were a-comin'!!! So I had to jump off my bike in the median strip and drag Corrie and her bike off the road to safety.

Corrie suffered a mild concussion but I don't think it was as bad as the scolding she got for 'borrowing' her mom's new Expo '88 t-shirt that morning and completely wrecking it when she took her tumble.

Bozo.

That's all.

Australia bans Canadian bird imports

"Australia will immediately impose a ban the import of birds from Canada until there is an adequate explanation about how pigeons that tested positive for avian flu antibodies reached Australia.

Federal agriculture minister Peter McGauran will ask officials at the Canadian embassy about the consignment of pigeons which arrived in Australian with full veterinary documentation from Canadian authorities that said they were disease-free.

Three of the 102 birds tested positive to avian influenza antibodies and for Newcastle Disease antibodies.

The infected birds will be destroyed and the rest may be returned to Canada."

(The Age, 21st October 2005)

Why is Australia importing pigeons anyway??? It's not like there's a shortage. Yeesh.

Birthdays, Birthdays and more Birthdays...

Big Birthday shout-outs to Anj, Jess and Olivia, all of whom were born on this fine day 20-odd years ago.

Hip hip chin chin!!!

This is my Bozo.

The Bozo posted earlier was just an example Bozo.

I like to type Bozo.

Bozo.

My apartment...

This is one wall of my house. I was just trying to take a photo of my bike but decided I would show you a few things, like my inflatable punching bag, half of my CD library, my decks, and where I just throw all my stuff when I walk in the door (on top of turntable no. 2).

Please note that the aquamarine/teal/crayon-I-never-liked-using and yellow colour scheme was not my doing. My landlady painted the place to her liking. Give me plain ole off-white/mother of pearl any day!

Thanks, Chester...

Knowing full well that I have a fear of clowns, this is one of the gifts I received from Chester.

Before going to bed last night, I made sure that Bozo was as far away from my head as possible. I also laid down some obstacles between him and my bedroom so I could hear him coming... if he dared.

Today, Bozo is sitting on my desk at work, where he shall remain. Too many witnesses here.

Congratulations!!!

To Grace and Kenn on the birth of Allyson (October 10th).

Yay!

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...

I wanna see Vegas pictures!!!

J2, where are you?!?!?!

>:o)

Birthday Present

As worn by Mooselet.

This is an LED Torch headset which is to assist in my DJing.

Wilson (of course) felt left out...

So I let him have a go too.

Thanks, Julie!

Question...

Why are the Montreal Canadiens called the 'Habs'?

Blah...

Ok... really starting to feel seedy now.

I must be sobering up.

If I think back and count how many drinks I had, I reckon that's about right.

Two more years and my birthday will land on a weekend. Yay.

It's 8:41am...

Do you know where your sister is?

Jane... have you finally gone to the doctor to see what's going on with your hives?

I hope so.

I need some Deep Heat...

I don't know if it was the pinnies or the bowling but my wrist is OWS.

Crikey!

It started innocently enough.

Here I was planning on a low-key birthday celebration (i.e. doing nothing). Then on the weekend, Carol said that she was going to take me out so I figured dinner and a couple of drinks, maybe a game or two of pinnies and Bob's your uncle.

This is what actually transpired:

We met up after I finished work and proceeded to Rue Bebelons on Little Lonsdale Street. There, after a little bit of guesswork and math, we worked out that it was exactly my birth time in Winnipeg. So we had a couple of drinks and a shot to celebrate.

From there we moved on to 7-Eleven where Carol purchased a disposable camera to capture the evening. Stupid me forgot my digital camera but in hindsight, I think that was for the better.

After 7-Eleven came The Lounge on Swanston, where we temporarily quashed our urge to play pinball by indulging in a few games of some bizarre circus-themed pinball machine. We also had more drinks, a couple of shots of something that wasn't quite Chartreuse but just as deadly (thanks, Suzanne), and the world's largest serving of chicken parmigiana.

By this stage, we had decided bowling would be fun so off we traipsed to Strike Bowling at QV, taking the scenic route through the food court and up to Russell Street, only to discover that we went in the wrong direction. We eventually found Strike, had a bit of a wander around, decided it just wasn't going to happen there and felt a drink was in order. We also left a historical etching in this general area.

Next stop, Troika Bar on Little Lonsdale Street. Once we worked out how to get inside, we had a beer and shot.

Crown Casino was our next destination, more specifically, Kingpin Bowling, seeing as Strike was such a flop. There we were delighted to discover that Tuesday nights are Tight-Arse Tuesdays so it was 2 games for the price of 1. We ended up playing 4 games and my wrist is paying for it today. More alcohol was consumed here as well. I won't say exactly how much but by this point, someone should have been practicing their Responsible Serving of Alcohol.

Then we hunted for more pinball machines but the ones at Galactic Circus and Barcode are very boring.

Finally, we went for one last drink at The Melbourne Supper Club on Spring Street. This was also our major rehydration point where we re-acquainted ourselves with water. After a glass of some Hungarian dessert wine, we called it a night. Note that this is the only venue where we didn't have a shot. Apart from 7-Eleven.

Pretty good effort for a couple of 32 year olds on a school night, eh? And... I made it to work on time too!

Thanks, Carol!!! *loves*

Happy Anniversary, Mum & Dad!

Hurrah!

My parents don't read my blog either but if Jane's gonna wish them Happy Anniversary here, so am I!!! I refuse to be the bad daughter!

At least I got my phone call in before Jane... but not before Joyce! *shakes fist*

Show us your blizzard!

Come on, Denis... Let's see some pics of the Winnipeg snowstorm!

Look closely at this receipt...

Will my warranty still be applicable?

Earn more sessions by sleeving...

a.k.a. Nine more hours and she'll be mine!!!

Well, I did it. I bought a bike, helmet and lock. The sales assistant is putting it together today and I will be picking it up this afternoon.

Now, I didn't get ANY of the bikes I mentioned yesterday but instead I purchased the Giant Boulder '06. There are a few subtle differences between the Boulder and the Upload. Basically the frame is lighter (nothing like it's namesake!) and you can adjust the suspension (huh?) and the gears are slightly different (if only I remembered how to change gears). Oh, and mine is the silver one, not the blue one. Silver and orange go faster... but not as fast as red.

Maybe I should have just searched garage sales for a banana seat... or found the local Chinese school and got a hand-me-down.

*tsai*

I had the best banana seat back in Winnipeg. It was purple and had extra wide handlebars which were just made for doubling. I think my bike was a hand-me-down from either Charlotte or Patty.

If bike money grew on trees...

I'd be riding this Avanti Atomic Disc 06 home tonight.

She's beautiful.

The one I intend on buying tonight...

This is the Giant Upland SE 2006, complete with front suspension.

This is the one that got away...

This is the Gary Fisher Advance 2005 in all it's brilliant orange glory.

Adventures in Bicycle Land

For the past 10 months, possibly even the past year, I have been going on and on about buying a bike.

Well, I think I've finally decided on which bike I'm going to get, and I've got the money in my pocket and am ready to get it tonight!

So, after work today I will be heading up to CBD Cycles to get me a mountain bike! YAY!!!

Fingers crossed that the one I want will be in stock. I could call ahead but that's not my style. And I already called the other bike shop (Melbourne Bike Shop) to see if they had the bike that I really wanted and they were out of stock.

Anyway, I'm very excited and restless.

There is a slight problem... CBD Cycles doesn't appear to sell helmets. I'm going to have to walk my bike home.

How lame.

Florida: Famous for Jeb Bush and Chads

Welcome to Florida, the Sunshine State...but please, avoid any unnecessary confrontations with the locals.

They just might shoot you.

A new, shoot-first-ask-questions-later law goes into effect Monday, allowing gun-toting Floridians to shoot anyone they feel "threatens" them, including Canadian, for whom Florida is the number one tourist destination in the world.

The controversial law has prompted an print and online advertisement campaign to warn visitors to Florida state -- both domestic visitors from other U.S. states and internationla visitors from the U.K. and Canada -- about the new law, which says that any individual who feels their personal safety is threatened, or that their possessions are at risk, are legally authorized to use deadly force.

And not just at home.

The law applies anywhere, anytime.

(From Global National, Monday, October 03, 2005)

The Glasshouse vs. The Park

On Sunday, I tried to go to karaoke because every now and then, I think it would be nice to catch up with friends I've made while working at the pub.

Alas, on my journey to the Glasshouse, I was sidetracked and veered off the beaten path to stop in at The Park Hotel to visit Carol, Brooke and Olivia.

The Park is my 3rd home away from home, seeing as The Glasshouse is my 2nd. However, if I can squeeze in another visit per week at The Park, it will become my 2nd.

Anyway, after a few drinks and a few rounds of Doubles Pinball (complete with ankle-kicking), it was midnight and I didn't make it to the Glasshouse at all. Oh well, it's probably best I not be there *every* night it's open.

Maybe I should spend less time in pubs...

Nah...

Happy Birthday, Jessica!

Another Libran... My goodness.

I have nothing to say.

So I'll just post random comments on other peoples' blogs.