Once upon a time, I had a puppy named Froggy...

I was feeling a little nostalgic this weekend after I became a little bit intoxicated and tried to abduct someone else's puppy on my way home.
So anyway, this is Froggy, a.k.a. Lidl Legs.

It's starting to lose its meaning... not really. :o)

Happy Birthday goes out to:

• Kerrie 'Choker' Campbell
• Lanie Hynninen; and
• Helen 'Volleyball Mother' Tighe

Woohoo! Yippee! Yay!

As Jimmy would say... 'RUINED!!!'

Last night, Carol gave me the photos from my birthday and there are some golden moments captured on film (yes, old skool photos!).

I've since made a couple of attempts at scanning the 'better' photos in order to blog them for a laugh. Alas, the scanner only does black and white and there's no point.

Sucks to be me.

Strike up the band!

Happy Birthday, Aunt Rozane!

Hope you enjoyed your day...

She never used to be pointy.

(I make me laugh.)

Birthday shout-outs!

Big big Happy Birthday to:

Kate Monroe

Bobby Bartley

YAY!

The freaks come out.

Last night as I walked home from the tram stop, I saw a dodgy couple walking towards me. Being streetwise (and also recognising them from a previous encounter I had with them over a year ago*), I secured my bag and put on my 'I'm not looking at you' face.

Nevertheless, the female walked right into my path yelling 'EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!'. Yes, I had my Shuffle on and had no intention of stopping for her, but she really got up and in my face so I slowed down and pulled out an earphone. She didn't take this as a cue to stop yelling though. Anyway, she started to tell me how she needed to get home to Pascoe Vale and did I have any spare change for her. I had spare change, just none for her. So I said, 'Sorry' shook my head and walked off. (Btw, I was rather frustrated with myself that i *apologised* for not giving them any change... Why should I have to apologise? Dumb jerks.)

This is the second time in a fortnight where I've been asked for change within 1 block of my home and I don't like it one bit. Last Sunday, I went to 7-11 to get a newspaper and there was a lady parked right outside the door asking for spare change. And a couple of weeks back, Jimmy was over and I busted some dude casing her car.

It's not that I don't feel safe, I just hate randoms talking to me. Not fond of randoms, whatsoever.

* My previous experience with this couple was when I used to walk through the oval on my way home. They stopped me to ask for the time and before I stopped to fish out my phone to look at the time, I noticed the guy was wearing a watch, holding a mobile phone, and they had a great view of the Richmond Town Hall Clocktower. Dodgy mofo.

A new dawn.

I've started playing a new game now. GTA San Andreas just isn't doing it for me anymore but that's mainly my own fault because I can't progress any further in the game.

So I decided to play Medal of Honor: Rising Sun. Joyce bought this for me for Christmas last year. I've played it before but only in multi-player mode with Di and she killed me, and killed me good. Then I never played it again. Now it's time to try again.

I managed to pass two missions last night and without using cheats! Now I'm trying to Save The Philippines and I really can't be bothered. Also, the controls are all weird and for some reason, when I point down, my guy looks up. And that's just stupid when you're trying to aim your gun. I know it's just a learning curve but how will it affect my GTA game when I go back to it?

Anyway, the premise of this game is to re-enact the whole Pearl Harbour thing. I think. That's what the first mission looked like.

I'll let you know how I go.

The A Team (again)

Hardly ever seen in the same place at once... or maybe I'm never around when they're all together.

Actually, that's a lie because they were out on Friday night. I just didn't have my camera. Foiled again!

One day I'll get them all at once... and maybe they'll be in uniform!

Lip my stocking!

As stated yesterday, TV sucks. I don't know where they've dug these programs up that are now on air but bring on the cricket, I say. I think they should have a cricket night series that runs all week so we don't have to put up with the drivel.

I know I could just read a book and for your information, I have started reading Harry Potter 6 again because I'm sure that when I read it the first time, I didn't pick up all the little details because I wanted to find out who died.

I also have my Book of Lists to fill my head with lots of little tidbits and trivia.

Anyway, last night I wasn't in the mood for reading (and I crashed another plane) so I decided to watch 'Lost in Translation', which has to be one of my favourite movies. I daresay, 'Lost in Translation' will be played many, many times over the summer.

When the cricket isn't on, that is.

Another one of those days.

Now that we're into the summer season of TV, I have a lot more time to play GTA. I have been playing the last couple of weeks but haven't been reporting on my progress because I've spent a lot of the past couple of weeks reloading my game.

It's all these damn flying missions, I tells ya! I keep getting wasted! It's a travesty! I have passed a few flying missions but they've only required that I fly in a straight line and then land the airplane or helicopter. Thinking that I was getting the hang of things, I decided to go back to Verdant Meadows and see what Toreno was so insistent on when he made me take all those flying lessons. Turns out Toreno needed me to fly some supplies out to his guys. Also turns out that I'm not so good at the flying yet because I didn't even take off before my plane exploded.

Sidebar: I discovered last night whilst watching 'Mythbusters' that the abandoned airfield at Verdant Meadows is modelled after the Mojave Desert Airplane Boneyard. Now it makes sense why that area on the map is called Bone County. Isn't that amazing? Maybe not for you. Now I've put it on my list of vacation destinations.

We wuz robbed!

As per usual, I was the first one in to work today. As I went about my merry way unlocking doors, etc., I noticed that something was amiss. It looked like someone had tried to pry open the door to the photocopying room as the door had been chipped away. So I had a gander at James and Murray's doors and they too appeared to be jimmied.

So I quickly secured the room (thank goodness there was no one in here because I have zero self-defence skills) then went back to my normal opening routine. I was about to unlock the server cupboard door when I noticed it was already open. So then I checked my own drawers and one cupboard had been forced open.

It pays to watch CSI.

After everyone else arrived at work, it became quite apparent that everyone's office doors had been jimmied open and in some instances, things were stolen. We have no petty cash now. And the Chamber no longer has a notebook or digital camera.

Unfortunately for the thief, we do have you on film.

Red eye reduction is a joke.

Unless Scotty really is the devil. But I'm not believing that rumour just yet.

Random photos from Girl Bar

Separated at birth?

The Industry Dancers (and a good portion of the ceiling).

Jen was happy with this shot.

Smile!

Welcome back to Girl Bar, Kista! Yay!

kdj

Maybe we should have invested in those fancy earplugs back in 1999.

Enough with the papparazzi!!!

I love this photo.

So I decided it needed it's very own post.

11:59pm, 25-Nov-2005

Sez shares the love.

Level 2 Carpark, Prince of Wales, St. Kilda.

And you wonder why I'm afraid of clowns.

Now you too can be afraid of clowns.

Thanks alot, Shypants.

Iron Chef

Prior to our game of poker, we were treated to a Japanese feast.

I figured my Mom would appreciate the picture of the table... if she read my blog.

While Danielle's away...

In case you can't tell, we're playing poker.

And this is Edwin a.k.a. Amanda

Me and my ferocious dog were walking down the street...

This is Storm. I don't know who Storm belongs to but Edwin is looking after her at the moment.

Whatever... she meets my requirement of being a pet that's not mine.

Meet Australia's Princess

This is Ally Mansell of NSW. Last night, she was crowned Australian Princess in the reality TV show called 'Australian Princess' (funnily enough).

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Ally will become the next Mary Donaldson (who married the Crown Prince of Denmark) seeing as she called her Polish prince a 'stupid idiot' because that's all she knew how to say in Polish.

Come on, Aussie, come on!

By the way...

I do know that GTA refers to 'Greater Toronto Area'.

Bozo.

A lull.

It seems everyone is slacking off on their blogs. Thankfully, a new blog has recently been added to the fold with http://www.gtakoidies.blogspot.com/.

Hehehehe.... Would that be Grand Theft Auto: Koidies, by any chance?

Come on big sis ottawa... come and play!

And you two doctors as well! You know who you are!

>:o)

On this day, many children were begat...

So in no particular order, Happy Birthday shout-outs to:

Tim Cheang!

Sarah Keogh!

Josie Kristensen!

Hip hip...

Take a bow.

And so The Glasshouse bids adieu to another staff member.

She wasn't there for a long time... And I'm not sure if she had a good time, either! Hehehehe...

The good news is that jelkie will be back for private functions. Yay!

All the best at your new job and I'll see you at the next Bitch is Black!

The Hayley Chronicles

Hayley came over last night and wanted to see my blogsite. More to the point, I think she wanted to see who called her a hottie. Now she wants me to create a blog on her.

That's all well and good but I don't want to. Even with her incessant 'when are you going to start my blog, Jude???' questioning throughout the evening, I'm still not going to do it.

I will, however, continue to talk about her here.

(Note: This blog has no affiliation with 'The Tarnia Chronicles', coming soon to theatres near you)

Emily was robbed!

Even though I think it's much better for Ms. Emily Williams, that she wasn't crowned Australian Idol last night.

Her album is going to be much, much better. But then I think it always would have been better. :)

Now there's always rumour that the contest is rigged. Emily was, by far, the better singer, in my humble opinion. But a little friend of mine told me that the daughter of a fallen pop idol who has *a lot* to do with the show told her who the winner was going to be the night before the Grand Finale.

So there you go. Chinese whispers...

Is it wrong for me to call them 'Chinese' whispers?

Lisa, it's your birthday...

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

La la la... I don't know the rest of the words.... Doobie doobie doo....

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

Love your guts!

Carson Kressley would be proud.

Note how the pool table felt coordinates with her armbands, which coordinate with the lettering on the front of her t-shirt which, in turn, co-ordinates with her hair tie and... well... her underpants.

The blue driving hat throws everything off.

She missed this shot too. Too short and too proud to use the helping stick thing. She did win 2 out of 3 though.

From another angle...

a.k.a. My Christmas tree is better than yours.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

This is the Christmas tree at Federation Square. You can sort of see it in those photos of the Industrial Relations Reform protests. But this is it in all its metal glory.

Maybe I'll even go take photos of the Myer Christmas Windows... Not really. That involves being around large crowds. Ick.

A break from the violence.

It's been a quiet week for GTA, what with the sleeping and the attending of the RMIT BAM 2005 Graduate Exhibition (yay to Andi again!).

I did turn the PS2 on last night. I thought I'd give dating Millie a go. Surprisingly enough, she was at home the first time I went around and I found a restaurant in an area that she likes and it was all smooth sailing. I might melee attack her with a bouquet of flowers next time. You can actually do this. I did this the first time with Denise because I didn't know that to hand your girlfriend the flowers, you press 'L1' and not 'O' (which is the attack button). Yes... even with all my cheat notes and walkthroughs, I can still do stupid things. I'm very talented.

Since I had the PS2 on, I thought I'd just drive around Las Venturas and see if there were any side missions to do. I think I'm just avoiding doing any missions that involve flying. Flight school was very traumatic, after all.

In my travels, I happened to stumble upon Officer Tenpenny and I thought I'd see what he wanted. He asked me to track an agent and re-acquire some vital evidence being held against him. I thought this would be easy enough and would involve a car chase. I don't know why I keep trying to predict this game. I ended up having to chase the agent in a helicopter. I actually caught up to him!!! Then I gunned him down in a carpark and stole his briefcase and that was that.

Realising that there's probably no way I'm going to get around these flying missions, I turned off the PS2. I don't foresee any progress unless tonight's dinner is cancelled or I decide not to go to work tomorrow night. And no, I'm not contemplating chucking a sickie either.

So until Saturday, it's timeout for Carl Johnson.

Congratulations!!!

To Andi and Nat for finishing their degrees!

Hoorah to no more school!

180 posts for 1800 visits

Yay!

Bozo.

Aerobics Oz Style

This morning, as I ate my cereal, I switched on the television to check the weather. My TV happened to be on Channel 10, which screens 'Aerobics Oz Style' every weekday morning from 6:30 - 7:00am. Normally, before the picture comes up, I turn the channel. This morning, I was somewhat drawn to the show and couldn't turn the channel.

Was it because instead of there being just one lead doing all the instructing, she was going around the mats and getting each, um, fitnessperson to 'show us her favourite exercise'? Was it because each fitnessperson tried to outdo each other? Was it because they were throwing the lead off with their tricky steps? Was it because I thought that *finally*, I was finally going to learn how to do The Grapevine properly?

Whatever it was, I watched for about 5 minutes. I did not march in place during the ad breaks. I did, however, dress inappropriately for today's weather. Rah.

My new bag

Big, big thank you to Joyce, for getting this bag for me for Christmas! Tis the season to be getting Christmas gifts early! (Jane - take note!)

I've been looking for a bag for ages and I finally have one. It has so many pockets, I can't even work out what you'd need so many pockets for! I bet as soon as I put things in it, I'll lose them. I've been annoying JGT for the past half hour with each new pocket discovery. Who would have thought that a canvas bag would provide such entertainment?

Very good!

Did someone say reform?

Where's Wally?

These photos were taken from www.theage.com.au, Fairfax Publications.

These aerial photos are of the Industrial Relations Rally held in Melbourne this morning. What you're seeing is about 175,000 pissed off workers converging on Federation Square. Similar rallies were held in the capital cities around Australia.

Good times.

I love this chair (and it's sidekick, Ottoman)

If ever I was going to splurge on a designer chair, it would be this... the Up2000 by B+B Italy. Apparently it's very comfortable too.

I might head to the local stockist this weekend and see what it looks like in real life. Although, I might have to put a suit on before they let me in the door.

I believe this is the furniture store (I'm sure they'd shudder if they heard me call them 'stockist' or 'furniture store') that employs a doorman.

GTA Progress Report #6

So I've given you an update on my 'Learning to Fly' expedition. Now a brief rundown on the missions I've completed since then:

Boat School: Seeing as I couldn't fly, I decided to learn how to pilot a boat. These lessons weren't too difficult and were a lot of fun... except for when I had to jump 55 metres in a hovercraft and couldn't hit the ramp on the correct angle. The first time I went through Boat School, I managed to clear 55 metres on my second attempt. Unfortunately, in a lesson further on, I flipped my boat and drowned. There's no save point anywhere near the boat school so you pretty much have to pass them all at once. Oh well, I didn't mind repeating some of the slalom races.

Fender Ketchup: Now this mission was fun. I had a Mafia guy strapped to the hood of my car and I had to drive around like a maniac until he was so scared that he gave up some info. I crashed a few times and killed him but that's ok. At least I got to practice my handbrake turns.

Explosive Situation: This mission was a pain in the butt. Getting the 4 sticks of dynamite wasn't hard but getting out of the quarry was #&*#^*%!!! I had to use a dirtbike and ride up narrow ramps, do a couple of jumps, yadda yadda... I kept falling off and having to start all over again. There were only maybe 6 checkpoints but it was HELL! Finally, I made it through only to miss the jump over the quarry fence and ended up getting wasted at the gates... and having to do it all over again. Eventually I made it through.

Architectural Espionage: This wasn't too difficult. I killed a tourist, stole his camera, made my way to the planning department, caused a fire, photographed a blueprint, then headed back to see Woozie.

You've Had Your Chips: This mission was very frustrating. The beginning was funny because someone had been bringing in fake poker chips to the Four Dragons Casino (Woozie's casino). The fake chips made a mockery of Woozie as the dragon on the poker chip was wearing sunglasses and carrying a white cane. You see, Woozie likes to pretend he's not blind. It was my job to go to the plastics factory and destroy the counterfeit chip machines. This took me so long because I kept getting killed. Those Mafia guys have very powerful rifles. (Note: A very special thank you goes out to Brooke who gave me a hint on passing this mission.)

Key to Her Heart: I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Millie and she's a Croupier at the Mafia-owned Caligula Casino. She gave me a gimp suit. I need to wine and dine her in order to steal her security keycard. This should be interesting.

The Truth called me. Told me he left a couple of English blokes out in the desert and I had to go find them. So I did and they made me take them to a Snake Farm. Thankfully, there were no snakes shown because I would have had to turn the game off at that point. I don't care if they're animated video game snakes... A snake is a snake and I hate them.

Anyway, after rescuing the Poms from the desert and taking them back into town, I'm now able to complete missions for Ken Rosenberg, who apparently is from GTA Vice City. I'm in the process of trying to complete a mission for him... it involves chasing down 3 ambulances, ramming it, then getting the person in the ambulance to an abbatoir. As I haven't been able to finish this mission yet, I don't know why we're taking him to the abbatoir... but I'm sure there's good reason.

And that pretty much brings us up to scratch. Believe it or not, I did get out of my house this weekend.

Guess who has their pilot's licence?!?!?!?

Yes! I finally did it! It took me about 3 hours but I finally passed all the flying tests!

I finally got the hang of turning my airplane without doing barrel rolls and was able to circle the runway. Then I had to circle the runway AND land. I probably could have done that in 3-4 attempts only when they said 'BANK RIGHT for the runway', I kept going left and crashing because the runway wasn't there. My fault. :)

After I did that, I had to learn how to fly a helicopter. That wasn't so bad... until I had to destroy the targets, which consisted of 3 parked semi-trailers and then 2 moving vehicles. This took me longer to master than circling the runway. In the end, I just kept firing missiles in the general direction and hoped that I would get lucky (punk).

And the final test was parachuting and landing on the target. Fortunately there were no small pools of water for me to land face first in and drown.

And that was it... Pilot's license obtained. This opened up Las Venturas and I was able to carry on my missions for Woozie, the blind Triad leader. Much to my dismay, however, none of the first few missions for Woozie required flying skills.

Grrrr......

An Afternoon at The Park

You might look like this too if you were in the middle of a 15-hour workday.

And today in the news...

I know something you don't know...

Steamed vegies anyone?

The Friendly Skies

Note: The following post is not GTA related.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from Qantas. They were calling to inform me that not only would the call be monitored for training purposes, but also that my flight to Sydney on 24th December will not be operational and that I have been re-assigned to a later flight.

Yesterday, in case you don't have access to a calendar, was 10th November.

Does anyone else find it odd that they were cancelling the flight 6.5 weeks ahead of schedule?

By the way, that's 6.5 weeks 'til Christmas!!!

A break from flying...

Since I discovered that I'll have to do all 10 Flight Lessons in one go, I've decided to put that mission on hold for a while. Last night, I decided to go oyster hunting. There are 50 oysters located in the game. Oysters improve your sex appeal so that the ladies will like you. I'm having a lot of trouble dating Michelle so this can only help.

(I tried to find a picture of an oyster to put in this blog but there wasn't one on the first search so I just let that dream go.)

So off I went to find a boat. I found one pretty quickly but as I was oyster-diving, it disappeared! RAH! Needless to say, I spent a lot of time swimming around the three islands. On the plus side, I have increased my lung capacity and can now stay underwater much longer.

I think I ended up finding about 30+ oysters in Los Santos and San Fierro. I was off to grab another oyster when suddenly I had my parachute on and was belly-flopping into a pond! I tried getting up but no, there I was, doing the Dead Man's Float in the tiniest body of water. I tried opening the parachute and that did nothing. I even tried shooting myself out of the water too. Nada.

I ended up having to turn the game off. AND I don't know when I last saved. This could almost turn out to be more frustrating than Flight School.

My new bike pump

I bought this on eBay yesterday and it arrived today. The turnaround on this item was approximately 20 hours.

Now that's what I call service!

My bike now has more accessories than I do.

From the Winnipeg Community Services Department

I found this very interesting...

http://www.cbc.ca/manitoba/indepth/restinspec200511.pdf

Didn't we used to go to Marigold's a lot?

Here we go...

James just asked, 'It's a bit early for pizza, isn't it, Jude?'

Grrrrr....

Nooooooooooooooooo.....

Last night, as I was waiting for Jimmy and Edwin to arrive for dinner, I decided to give the flying lessons another go. You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that I had to re-do the two tests I had already passed.

Damn you, Rockstar Games!!!

This means I'm going to have to go back to Driving School and do those tests over too!

At least now I can go do other things and not be hassled by Toreno to complete Flight School. There are lots of sidegames that I want to tackle... As well as find the hidden oysters.

Oh, and there's Michelle too... She will be mine!

www.mezabel.com

My records are here! That was incredibly fast. Normally there's a two-day turnaround for record shopping online.

I think I've found my new preferred store.

The only downside is that the records come in a pizza box. Not a plain white one, like with Capital DJ, but a printed one that says 'Enjoy Your Pizza' and has a picture of a chef on the lid.

I always feel a bit stupid walking around carrying a pizza box... Even when it has pizza in it.

I might wrap it in brown paper before I leave...

It's happening again...

I just bought some records.

I know, I know, I've been talking about hanging up the headies but with the Summer Sessions fast approaching, I thought I might get a heads up and start looking for those big summer records now... even if they came out 3 months ago.

It's been two months since I last bought records. My usual online shop, Rhythm & Soul, has been closed for maintenance for at least a week now so I had to shop elsewhere. I chose to shop at Mezabel Online (www.mezabel.com). I used to think that Rhythm & Soul and CapitalDJ were the only places I could shop online. Then I heard Mezabel's ad on Kiss-FM and I think I've found a new favourite.

Trust me, this has *nothing* to do with R&S misplacing my records two shipments ago.

Anyway, $120 later, I have some new vinyl on the way. YAY!

Relief

Last night, I didn't play GTA.

*a collective sigh of relief from my blog-readers*

Instead, Anj came over and we hung out. Then she decided to give me a lesson on kamikaze bike riding as we ventured to Victoria Street for some vietnamese. Of course, we had to find a restaurant where we could sit at the window and watch our bikes because they were certainly being eyed off.

After some viets, we rode to The Park to play some classic video games (Galaga and Burgertime) and Twilight Zone pinball. Anj got her best score ever. I managed not to lose too disastrously, which is usually the case.

Then it was home-time. I got to use the new lights for my bike. Some adjustments need to be made as there is a lot of movement in the headlight and I almost blinded myself.

Meanwhile, Anj and Carol were off to see 'Wolf Creek'. I hope they're ok today. The 1% of me that wants to see it has grown to about 1.5% but when I saw the man walking around The Park wearing a Drizabone and Akubra, that was a big sign saying 'Noooooooooooooooo!'.

Oh, and I won't be playing GTA tonight either. Little Jimmy is coming over and she's anti-games. Curses!

MacGyver (a.k.a. My New Bike Lights)

I bought these through eBay on Wednesday last week and they arrived today. That's pretty quick seeing as they came all the way from Hong Kong!

So off I went at lunchtime to by some AAA batteries so that I could see if these work properly and then leave feedback. I went out side, carjacked a delivery van... hahaha... just joking.

I checked the taillight first and that worked like a dream. Next came the headlight. Much like a flashlight, you unscrew the light to get to the batteries. This had some sort of battery 'cage' which slid out. I inserted the 4 AAA batteries in their correct polarities, *shoved* the battery cage back in, screwed the light back on, clicked once... and it didn't work.

Assuming that I might have placed a battery incorrectly, I took the light off again... only to discover that I couldn't get the battery cage out. Then I recalled the ease at which the cage slid out in the first place and that when I shoved it back in, I did something very, very bad.

It's situations like this where you wish you could just quit and re-load your game.

I took out a set of little screwdrivers and tried prying the cage out. No can do. Then, I disassembled a tea bag so that I could thread the string through the battery contact points and pull. The string snapped. I then used my two pieces of string and threaded them both through for a bit of reinforcement and tried again. This time the cage gave a little. Then both strings snapped.

At this point I decided to hunt around the office for some wire... and stumbled upon a tool kit. The needlenose pliers did the trick and I pulled the cage out and then *slid* it back in. Then I screwed on the light... and blinded myself because I had left the switch on earlier.

Good times.

GTA (lack of) Progress Report #5

It's official. I'm stuck.

Apart from dating Michelle, doing side missions and helping out that geek, Zero, defend his radio controlled airplane shop, I am officially at a standstill in GTA San Andreas.

Having completed my missions for Woozie and Toreno, I recently purchased the airplane graveyard out at Verdant Meadows. Unfortunately this means that I have to learn how to fly now. And I can't do anything else until I learn how to fly as I will need a pilot's licence to progress in the game.

There are 10 lessons and I have to achieve 70% in each to pass. So far, I can take off (Lesson 1) and land (Lesson 2). Turning is a big no can do. I don't even want to think of what the other 7 lessons are!

Lesson 3 requires that I circle the airfield. I can choose to do it clockwise or counterclockwise. Considering it took me 7 attempts to fly in a straight line, I didn't really care which direction I was going in, especially since I kept nose-diving into the cliff face. Trust me, the cliffs aren't that close to the airfield.

I tell you what, I cannot wait to get out of the desert. These cliffs and sand dunes are going to be the death of me. In fact, they have been the death of me... several times!

Clearly this whole flight school thing was very stressful so I decided to abandon it and do other things... Only to have Toreno call me every 2 minutes and tell me to get my derriere back to the Flight School and complete the lessons... Or I would never find Sweet.

So I decided to give GTA Vice City a go. Once you've played San Andreas, you can't go back in time. The graphics are poor, the movements are jerky... but I think that's because I have to improve my skills seeing as I'm starting from scratch. Anyway, I got wasted pretty quickly in Vice City so I gave up there and called it a night.

Tonight I'm going to try and pass the Flight School mission. And you'll hear all about whether I succeed or fail.

If it weren't for my iPod Shuffle...

I would have to listen to the drunks who get on the tram on Monday mornings.

I wouldn't have been able to ignore the junkie trying to talk to me on the tram this morning.

I would have had to listen to the woman who was in dire need of a tissue the other morning.

I wouldn't have yelled 'WOULD YOU LIKE SOME UMBRELLA?!?!' at the nice lady at the tram stop yesterday afternoon when it was bucketing down and scared the crap out of her. But that's a different story...

So once again, I would like to say thank you to Julie for getting me the Shuffle. I'm a less angry person these days because of it.

Except when iTunes is playing up. Grrrrr.

And it wasn't just chopper-related incidents...

Toreno wanted me to hijack a semi-trailer. In order to do this, I had to engage the help of Cesar, who had the dubious task of doing the actual hijacking.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain the correct speed and distance from a semi-trailer so your sister's boyfriend can hop onto the rig? Meanwhile, while this is happening, the rig is swerving from side to side and throwing taxis and other vehicles into your path? And, just to throw me off a little more, Cesar was yelling in my ear the whole time, sounding a whole lot like that crazy Catalina.

(Sidebar: Catalina, by the way, has taken to prank-calling me at random intervals. It's rather hilarious!)

Anyway, Cesar and I managed to hijack the rig... Only for me to lose the cargo, trying to turn the damn thing around. After 5 minutes of trying to re-attach the load as well as being dragged out of the cab by other angry drivers who I'm holding up on the freeway (it was like Rodney King all over again), I had to restart the game.

The second time that we managed to hijack the rig, I was nearly home-free... and I lost the rig again. Because I was virtually 5 metres from the finally checkpoint, I had no choice but to manouevre around tediously until I re-attached the trailer. And just to make things worse, my engine had started smoking. (A smoking engine soon turns into an exploding vehicle.)

I did, however, note that once I made it to the checkpoint, in the cut scene, Cesar took all the glory and parked the rig in the garage.

Dumb jerk.

Another GTA mishap

This sort of passes as a progress report but it's also an indication of how poorly I was playing on Sunday.

In a separate mission, I was *in* a helicopter that was going out to a cargo ship anchored in the harbour as a Jedi Master (he looked like one) was holding some refugees hostage in a cargo container. It was my objective to free the refugees.

So we're in the helicopter and I'm manning the mini-gun, trying to shoot down all the Da Nang boys who are shooting at us with various weapons and a couple of RPGs. Eventually, we get cut down by a missile and it's into the water I go, losing my entire cache of weapons. I did, however, manage to keep my knife. Stealth attacks were in order, so it seems.

It took me ages to navigate around the cargo ship and every now and then, I fell off some crates and hurt myself. Sometimes, I couldn't even climb up the crates.

Eventually I managed to free the refugees. Then it was up to me find the Jedi, who was up on the bridge doing tai chi. Silly man thought that he had a chance by engaging me in a katana fight to the death but 3 quick movements and he was down and out.

Finally, it was off to meet the refugees who were waiting for me to hold their hands and take them down to the dinghys. As I made my way from the bridge to where the refugees were waiting for me... I WALKED OFF THE SHIP.

Fortunately for my controller, I didn't die in the fall and was able to swim back around the ship, make my way back up and free the refugees.

GTA Progress Report #4

Sunday... my day of rest. I woke up, went and picked up the Sunday paper, dodged the shopping bus ladies, had some breakfast, watched a bit of cricket then decided it was time to envoke the spirit of Carl Johnson and complete some missions.

For some reason, I couldn't walk, drive or shoot anything properly. Certain angles were giving me vertigo. Everything just kept going wrong and I couldn't work out *how* I had all of a sudden forgotten how to play GTA.

Here's the perfect example: I set out to the desert to collect some contraband for an undercover agent who is holding out on me about the whereabouts of my critically injured brother. After driving aimlessly, I finally make it to the first meeting point where I am yelled at for taking so long. It's not my fault that I was driving a dune buggy and kept getting run off the road by cars going 100km/hr...

At the checkpoint, I changed vehicles. First, I selected the dirt bike which I promptly rode into the dam. I then carjacked a vehicle and went back to the checkpoint to select another all-terrain vehicle. This time I took the 4-wheeler and drove it off a cliff. Back to the checkpoint where I took the only remaining vehicle which was one those things that they race at motorcross races... It's got four wheels, a cage... you know. With this vehicle, I made it to the top of the mountain where I was meeting the helicopter... and I *walked* off the cliff.

After several attempts, I finally made it to the meeting point at the summit and awaited the package's arrival. Part of the mission was to destroy any government helicopters that were trying to intercept the package. My rocket launcher ability was hopeless. I couldn't hit anything! Then some guys abseiled down from a chopper and started shooting me. Eventually I was able to down all the choppers... Only to mistakingly shoot down my chopper as well.

Yup, that's right, I shot down my own helicopter. At least three times.

Very quickly, I was reaching breaking point. I couldn't work out what was wrong with me. So I took my cap off (Sunday is hat day) and tried again. This time I passed the mission.

*shakes fist*

Obviously, wearing a baseball cap hinders my ability to play GTA. Which is odd because sometimes the only time I can play Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005 is to wear a beanie.

One more thing... My new girlfriend, Michelle, has not made herself available to be dated since my last disastrous date. I might shoot up her garage.

6:55am, 04-Nov-05, Richmond, Victoria

The Domaine Chandon balloon.

The Nudie Juice balloon.

I live near a lot of ovals and sporting grounds and there are quite a few hot air balloon launches around my house at this time in the morning. You can imagine my surprise the one morning I looked up and saw a house floating above my head. This is the first time I've seen the Nudie Juice balloon so I thought I would celebrate by taking its photo.

Happy Birthday to a wee Scottish lass..

Happy 40th Birthday, Frugal!

Hoorah!

And you thought my GTA blogs were bad. *hmph*

Girl keeps blog on poisoning mother
Tokyo November 3, 2005 - 11:21AM

A 16-year-old Japanese girl was arrested for trying to kill her mother with rat poison and keeping a blog narrating how her condition deteriorated, news reports say.

The girl, part of an elite high school chemistry club, reportedly admired British serial killer Graham Young and kept severed animal body parts including a cat's head in her bedroom.

"Mother has been sick since yesterday, having a rash all over her body," the Asahi Shimbun newspaper quoted the girl as writing on August 19 on the online journal, which was kept under a male name.

Another daily newspaper, the Mainichi Shimbun, reported the blog said on September 12: "Mother is sick today, too. She had been complaining her legs have been out of it for two or three days and she has finally become almost unable to move."

Police found that the dates of the blog matched the illness of her 47-year-old mother, who was in critical condition at a hospital in Shizuoka prefecture southwest of Tokyo, the reports said.

The girl's brother, who thought she was acting suspiciously, reportedly alerted police who examined her computer and discovered the blog.

She is suspected of mixing her mother's food with thallium, a highly toxic but tasteless substance used in the past to kill rodents.

The girl, who kept the blog for more than three months, also wrote of how she duped people around her.

"I got sympathy from my teacher when I tearfully talked about mother. I guess people are cheated more easily than I expected," she wrote, as quoted by the Sankei Shimbun newspaper.

When students were asked in class to name a person they admired, the girl said she respected Young, who started to test poisons on his family at age 14. He later poisoned three people to death and died aged 43 in his prison cell in 1990.

Police declined to comment on the details of the reports but said a 16-year-old girl was arrested on Monday for "trying to kill her own mother with poison."

Her name is not disclosed as she is a minor.

AFP (taken from The Age, 04 November 2005)

Missy Higgins

I've mentioned Missy a couple of times on my blog. Now I would like her to just fade away... Or at least come out with a new album because if I have to hear 'The Special Two' one more time.... Grrrrr!

*shakenbabysyndrome*

The reason we're being inundated with Missy lately is because she recently dominated the ARIAs (Australian for Grammys) and now she's everywhere!!!

Not only that, they've also just released her DVD. Rah!

Flowers, make it stop!

GTA Progress Report #3

Well, I've been progressing along quite nicely in GTA. I won't go through every itty bitty detail but I will say that I am becoming quite the motorcyclist. And my driving skills are improving vastly.

I even managed to win the Valet Parking challenge and somehow that meant I acquired the Valet Parking station which generates an income of $2000. I don't know if that's per day or week or month but I need to go collect that money every so often.

I also now have Hitman status with my Silenced Pistol. Apparently that means that I can run around with one in each hand! I just need to find another Silenced Pistol. And to work out how to arm both hands. How I'm going to drive or ride a motorcycle is beyond me.

Note that I've toned down the violence in my blogs. People are starting to comment. It's a *game*!!! I know this!!! Really!

Oh, and I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Michelle. I met her at the Driving School. She owns a garage and fixes my vehicles for free. If I reach 50% progress with her, she will customise my cars. And when I reach 100%, she will give me a racing suit and keys to her Monster Truck.

*loves it*

P.S. I also just bought the double pack of GTA III and GTA Vice City. GTA Knit Blogger was not made in PS2 format. :)

Because 15MB internal memory is never enough...

This arrived for me yesterday. Note the size of the box compared with my notebook.

And inside the box was this.

And inside the ginormous bubble wrap was this!

Thanks for the 128MB XD card, Jane!