Curse you, telemarketers.

Chantel from some random telemarketing company just rang to do a quick survey on 'holiday habits' and only had six questions and do I mind?

Yes, I mind. Very much so.

And I said very firmly, 'No, I don't have time. Goodbye.'

'Yes, but it's only six...'

*supre hangs up phone*

I have no problem hanging up on telemarketers.

Especially when I can't hear them properly OR understand them because they're calling from New Delhi or Manila.

Finally.

March has come to an end.

I dunno about you but the term 'March Madness' has been decisively re-defined this year.

It has nothing to do with NCAA basketball but *something* during this month has wreaked havoc across my own private Idaho.

Fare thee well, March.

I bid you adieu.

You are banish'd.

Why is it...

That when I'm the only person standing at a tram stop that's at *least* 10m long, the next person to arrive at the stop has to stand right next to me?!?!?

Is it safety in numbers? We're in the middle of Bridge Road at 7am... Nothing's going to happen!

Anyway, I kept moving down... and she kept coming closer. Soon I was at the end of the tram stop and had to walk all the way back up to the start. It was all I could do to not give her *shakenbabysyndrome*.

I should have taken out my camera and said, 'STOP OR I'LL SHOOT AND BLOG!'

And this... THIS is why I come to work this early in the mornings. I certainly don't wake up early to listen to Mel & Kochie's playful banter.

Imagine if I came in at 8 and had to encounter the majority of commuters.

*minor panic attack*

I can't get this out of my head...

If I looked all over the world

And there's every type of girl

But your empty eyes

Seem to pass me by

Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink

'Cause it'll give me time to think

If I had the chance

I'd ask the world to dance

And I'll be dancing with myself

Now that I've put these words here, I recall an article that I read recently about what this song is about. Dirty Billy.

Hmmm...

Channel 9, no doubt due to the Commonwealth Games, seems to be six weeks behind in 'Survivor'.

I'm reading the msnbc.com weekly updates to see who's gone.

Don't worry, I won't spoil it. :)

Has anyone seen...

The horrible, horrible ads currently on TV reminding people to change their smoke alarm batteries on Sunday?

Sidebar: For those of you outside of Australia, every year when Daylight Savings ends/begins (I'm never sure which one it is), Duracell and the Fire Brigade team up to make ads advising people that it's time to put a new battery in their smoke alarms.

This year's ad features a family sleeping peacefully and a bit of text scrolls across the screen telling you what sort of dental work each family member has had. Then there's the voiceover that says something along the lines of 'Because these may be the only way we can identify your family's charred remains in case of a house fire.'

It's VERY disturbing.

Besides, wouldn't your neighbours know who you are? Or your property manager? Unless you're squatting in someone else's home, I think there are other, less gruesome, methods of identifying one's charred remains.

One more sleep...

And the 2006 AFL Footy Season begins!!!

And look who's back (photo from www.theage.com.au):

Tomorrow night, the Saints take on the Eagles at Subiaco (who cares?) but on Friday night's blockbuster match is the Tigers vs. Bulldogs.

Go Tigers!

One more thing about Survivor...

How come no one ever seems to learn anything from the previous seasons?

For instance, how to use the flint to start a fire.

If I ever decided that I wanted to be on Survivor, I would be at home with a machete and piece of flint, practicing how to start a fire - even though the person who starts the fire tends to get voted off (grrrrr).

Yeesh.

Does this constitute blogging about work?

Would you use this 'soap' to wash your hands?

This is the other soap dispenser. There are also two paper towel dispensers, as seen in the mirror in the first photo). Note that there's only one basin. Go figure.

P.s. That aerosol can is a refill can full of some offending fragrance which is pumped out by the air sanitiser. I suppose they've left a spare for those instances when I get sprayed in the face and walk out with the metered dose all over me.

Survivor: Exile Island

The newest season of 'Survivor' started here last night.

Thanks to time differences, I know that I can tune into msnbc.com on Thursday afternoon to see who was voted off the island and this is something that I usually practice.

I'm a bit peeved that probably the strongest character this season, Tina the Lumber Jill, has already been voted out. The Older Women Tribe are dumbasses.

I also noticed that there's a missile engineer and former astronaut in this season's cast. Makes you kinda wonder what the Production Team at 'Survivor' are up to.

Having said that, judging by Missy's deductive thinking that when Jeff said, 'why fate has left you behind' meant that the immunity idol was somewhere behind her, I don't think they're going to get any flashes of brilliance from this young thing. The only thing she seemed to pick up from previous seasons of 'Survivor' is Danni's hat.

So we now have left to survive:

Older Men - Detox Guy, Fighter Pilot Dude, Mr. Miyagi, Neil Armstrong
Older Women - Token Nature-Hater, Annoying Crying One, Ms. Plastic Fantastic
Younger Men - four big dumb bo-hunks
Younger Women - Gratuitous Cleavage Lady, Hippy Chick Fire Twirler, Token Social Worker Babe, Missile Engineer

Bring it on.

What I should have purchased in the first place.

In about a week, I won't be sitting on the floor anymore. Hopefully.

Communal Kitchen Etiquette (Remedial)

Frying bacon (or even pancetta) is totally unacceptable in the shared sandwich squisher.

Who do you think you are? Lisa from Brunswick???

My first eBay dispute.

Well, I lodged a complaint with Paypal under the Buyers' Protection Scheme re: The Bean Bag Incident of 2006.

Now to sit and wait and see what happens.

Meanwhile, there are three degrees of colour variance according to Paypal:

Light - light green vs. dark green
Moderate - green vs. teal
Extreme - green vs. red

Of course when I read it, I incorrectly read 'taupe' instead of 'teal' and was wondering what sort of baboon would consider green to only be moderately different from taupe.

Silly moi.

Poor Officer Boscorelli

First Bosco gets his face shot up on 'Third Watch', no thanks to that chica sergeant.

Then Alex gets fired from the White House by former speechwriter turned Press Secretary, the job that should have been his, Kelly on 'Commander in Chief'.

Will Jason Wiles ever get another job on television?

Mon dieu!

Personally, I'm quite fond of the century egg and only get to have it once a year. I think it's the only way to make congee bearable.

As written by Brigitte Hafner in today's Epicure:

I ONCE had to eat a 1000-year-old egg. It was presented to me with considerable ceremony in that perverse way the Chinese have of offering the strangest morsel from their culinary kingdom, to you, their guest.
It tasted much like you would expect a duck egg that had been buried in ash and left to mature for 100 days to taste. Rotten. It had an overpowering and pungent odour of ammonia and sulphur that made my insides crawl.
The texture had been transformed in an intriguing way; the whites had turned a deep amber jelly, and the yolk had become a gooey grey-green. It was one of the strangest and most putrid of flavours I had ever experienced.
Luckily it was a one off-experience...

Grrrrr...

I've been stumped by the past two Samurai Sudokus.

Last week, I hit a major Sudoku block and it took me until Thursday to give up.

This week, I broke it. And I broke it good.

Have I been jinxed by Emily? (hehehe...)

Could this be the end of my dream run on Samurai Sudokus?

Only time will tell...

Day 2 of Soy

Yesterday, there was a lapse in my attempt to cross over to soy when Tas, my lovely coffee lady of Slices Cafe, automatically made me a regular latte. Not wanting to be a bother, I just let her carry on without saying anything.

This morning, however, when she saw me walk in, Tas immediately pulled out two cartons of soy milk (easy, tiger!) and reconfirmed what sort of milk I want in my coffee and then apologised for yesterday's coffee.

I'm going to miss Tas when we move to Collingwood. There had better be decent coffee in the cafe in our building.

I have a lot to say today...

Actually, this is probably my last post for today.

I rang up to check on the delivery status on my new sofa and the reply I received was 'We have that down for the end of the first week of the next month... [long pause]... so a week and a bit.'

What a convoluted response.

Meanwhile, I still need to post a picture of my bean bag. Not the fuschia one. Nor the orange one. But the one I ended up buying from K-Mart last Tuesday.

I've yet to resolve the issue of the fuschia bean bag with Benjamin of Auburn, NSW as he has not responded to any of my e-mails.

Random post.

I watched '21 Grams' yesterday.

That didn't leave me with the happiest feeling in the world.

So I decided I'd save 'Crash' for next weekend and watched 'Ice Age' instead.

Alcohol + Lisa from Brunswick don't mix.

Lisa,

I think you need to stop drinking or have your mouth sewn up or both.

I put it down to alcohol on the night but now that I've had a day and a half to think about it, you must be touched in the head.

It is *never* appropriate to sit next to a total stranger and tell them how they are the first 'chunky' and 'overweight' Asian you've seen in your entire life. Especially when you have a 13 year old daughter, which puts you at least in your mid-20s.

You also claimed to be an over-thinker. Well, you mustn't have thought beyond 'Now which foot should I put in my mouth?' every time you started flapping gums.

Clearly alcohol and whatever medication you take DO NOT MIX.

Idiot skank mole.

The Games are over... finally.

Well, the Commonwealth Games have been and gone. Now it's the Grand Prix's turn.

Tell me, has *any* Games chief ever NOT declared the Games a big success? 'I'm sorry but that was just crap! I declare these Games a failure and am glad they're over.'

Anyway, I think I managed to not get too caught up in Games fever, except for all the Drama dribble.

Having said that, I think I was subconsciously brainwashed by the Games when last week, I came to work and noticed that I was using the Official Colours of the Games to mark off my steel measurement:

Big faces on Burnley Street.

Damn you, Little Miss Misunderstood!

http://theage.com.au/news/athletics/im-staying-says-jana/2006/03/24/1143083955356.html

*shakes both fists*

'The way is shut.'

And so the saga of our e-mail exchange server continues.

Good times.

This must be the start of something big...

This morning, I decided to get a soy latte instead of a regular latte on my way to work.

I used to drink soy quite a bit circa 1995 but then stopped. It was around 1996 when I realised that normal milk products didn't really sit well with me, but I stuck with them.

So the question is, how long can I last on this soy kick?

I'm also trying to grow my hair. I've reached a stage where I need to have a part and I also don't leave the house on the weekend without wearing a hat. At some point in time, I will have to go see Cisco and get him to fix up some rough edges (like my chops) and probably thin it out too.

One day I might take a picture of my LEGO-like hair and show you.

GTA Liberty City Stories is a-comin'

I read somewhere that in April, Rockstar Games are going to release 'Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories' on the Playstation 2.

Right now, it's only available on PSP.

I can't wait!

*rubs hands together fiendishly*

It's Day 4

Has MiddleChild given up feeding the boy and the girl?

Don't you hate...

When you order pizza home delivered and when you lift the lid, the pizza is all smooshed up against the side of the box?

Dumb jerk.

I got an A!!!

Last night, I made my personal trainer proud and got an A for effort.

This is the first A I've received. I managed to beat the Combat Zone game and get a 'professional' grading in the Meditation Zone game.

I actually completed 2.5 Combat Zone games. In the first one, I wasn't very happy with my result so a hit the 'Try Again' button. Then on the second attempt, the game froze so I had to reboot my PS2 and start all over again.

Tonight, I have to do Cardio, Combat and Meditation. I hope I don't have to do the hand-clapping one.

Two and a half hours?

This morning, I was reading cbc.ca for my daily dose of Canadian news and came across this article http://www.cbc.ca/manitoba/story/win-grandforks060322.html about cross-border shopping.

I was particularly drawn to this paragraph:

Grand Forks, nestled in the Red River Valley, is about two-and-a-half hours south of Winnipeg. Winnipeggers will often travel to the historic city of 50,000 for a day to shop and take in the sights.

Two things:

1. What sights? Those painted water towers?
2. Who takes two and a half hours to drive from Winnipeg to Grand Forks?

I recall a trip to Grand Forks with Heidi, Heather and Krista, back in 1991, where I was picked up from Tuxedo at around 7am and I'm sure we were in Grand Forks at least half an hour before the stores opened, which I believe back in those days was 9am.

I think we worked out that it had something to do with Heidi converting the speedometer of her dad's Taurus over to MPH and not remembering. I wonder if she ever got a ticket.

*clears throat*

Jana Pittman competing in her heat of the 400m at the 2006 Commonwealth Games.

(photo: Getty Images)

"I'm one of these females who have a thing about their stomach," she said. "I like it covered up. I'm actually going to wear a similar body suit to Matt's." - Jana Pittman, at the launch of the Australian Team Uniforms for the 2006 Commonwealth Games.

Ok... I'll stop now. I just needed to vent... Just like Raelene Boyle did, on the same subject too, I might add.

Grrrr...

There was a blogger server problem earlier this morning and even though it said it wasn't going to post my previous post, it did anyway. Consequently, I didn't get to add my thoughts to the article that I posted.

Firstly, I'd like to say that under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have posted the entire article but I'd rather get the hits here than to have that article be listed as a 'Most Viewed Article' on news.com.au.

Secondly, I would like to note that when Drama pulled out of the Queen's Baton Relay, she said that she'd just had secret surgery and called to cancel whilst lying in recovery on a hospital guerney. I see that this is not mentioned in the article. Nor is it mentioned that her fiance/trainer denied that she had surgery and that he was unaware if she did.

Yeesh.

Why don't you just fade away?

Emotion a hurdle for Pittman

By Jenny McAsey

March 22, 2006

JANA Pittman is scared, worried the massive Melbourne Cricket Ground crowd that has been so supportive of every other Australian athlete will boo her as she lines up tonight for the first heat of the 400m hurdles.

Chris Rawlinson, Pittman's coach and fiance, says she has spent so much time crying during her troubled build-up that he fears it will cost her an Australian record in the final tomorrow night.

"She is an incredible athlete but her performance just depends on how the crowd treat her when she comes out into the stadium," Rawlinson said yesterday. "She is scared of hearing someone boo her. So I am just hoping everyone is behind her 100 per cent because she wants to run for them."

Pittman is red-hot favourite to win the event, and she should easily progress from tonight's heats to the final.

But Rawlinson, the defending 400m hurdles Games champion, who is competing for England, said Pittman had wasted a lot of emotional energy since the selection trials in Sydney last month.

"She has done an awful lot of crying," he said. "When you see her on the track she comes across as very strong. She is an incredible athlete but she is a really soft person at heart who wants to be liked."

It began when Pittman was drawn into a war of words with Victoria runner Tamsyn Lewis. The rivalry played out on the track when Pittman came last, more than a second behind Lewis, in the flat 400m final at the trials.

Lewis then spoke of how much she had wanted to beat "the bitch" Pittman. The saga continued when Pittman said Lewis was creating an evil atmosphere in the athletics team, and both women were warned by Commonwealth Games officials that they could be thrown off the team if the fighting did not stop.

In a candid interview with The Australian on the eve of the Games, Pittman said she felt the media had portrayed her as "the villain" in the spat and she despaired about her poor image.

She has also been hampered by hamstring tightness which caused her to withdraw from a race at Olympic Park and also the Queen's baton relay last week.

As Pittman lines up for one of the biggest competitions of her life, she is struggling to focus on the task of defending the gold medal she won four years ago in Manchester.

"The media pressure has had an effect on her," Rawlinson said after qualifying third-fastest for the men's semi-finals.

"I would be lying if I said it hadn't.

"It hasn't helped preparations. She can still run 53 seconds (in the final) but with the hamstring and all the crying she has done because of this ... she would have broken the Aussie record.

"But as it is, she will be close, but I am not sure if she will."

Pittman's best time is 53.22sec, which she ran to win gold at the 2003 world championships, but she is still chasing the Australian 400m hurdles record of 53.17sec set by her friend and mentor Debbie Flintoff-King when she won at the 1988 Olympics.

Rawlinson said Pittman did not handle it well and there was no denying it may have robbed her of the chance to run faster than ever.

"I am trying to teach her not to care ... but she is one of those people who likes to have the support of other people and if she doesn't feel she's got that, it doesn't get the best out of her.

"Just the emotional energy really, wondering what people are saying behind her back. I told her not to read the newspapers any more and just think about what she needs to do on the track."

Rawlinson, who has been in a relationship with Pittman since the Athens Olympics, and has coached her since early 2005, said he was confident she would still win gold, with the only real threat coming from improving English hurdler, Nicola Sanders.

"I don't think it will stop her winning, she is an incredible athlete. I ran with her the other day and had to pick up speed because she was pushing me."

The pair will marry in Victoria a few days after the Games finish.

The Australian

More than just a luncheon meat.

In Sunday's Herald Sun, I saw a picture of a woman carving up a giant mortadella. I really wanted to find the photo to show jelkie but when I yahoo'd 'mortadella', I not only stumbled across an old movie poster for 'La Mortadella' starring Sophia Loren (no doubt about a beautiful woman and her donkey), but I found this:

It's the sheet music to mortadella. Interesting.

Things that make you go hmmm...

I've recently discovered that my right thigh has become larger than my left thigh.

That or all my pants are stupid bastards.

I think I can attribute this to the fact that when I'm doing my eyeToy Kinetic workouts, I favour my left knee, as it is the knee that makes the most noise, thereby working my right leg harder.

Anyway, I don't like it.

The eBay disaster that had to happen.

I'm just being dramatic. It wasn't really a disaster.

What happened was that I bought a bean bag chair on eBay last week and it was supposed to be orange but when it arrived, I opened the bag and discovered it was fushcia. That's not really fushcia but you get my point.

Anyway, I was quite angry about it and sent an e-mail to the seller telling him that I wasn't happy and am expecting some sort of response and subsequent refund and reimbursement of return postage costs.

This is what I'm expecting. But seeing as I haven't heard back from the seller yet, I won't keep my hopes up.

Meanwhile, I'm sick of sitting on the floor and moving my television back and forth between my lounge room and bedroom so I went to K-Mart last night and bought a different bean bag cover. (Shut up, Carrrrrl.)

I would recommend that those with anger management issues buy a 100-litre bag of beans because the sound of those tiny styrofoam balls pouring out of the bag is very, very soothing.

Just don't pour them on the floor because trying to pick up spilt beans is enough to drive anyone homicidal.

In conclusion...

Does anyone want a nearly brand spanking new copy of 'Mulholland Falls' Region 4 DVD?*

If there are no takers, I might randomly leave it in a public place.

Although, could that be construed as some sort of visual terrorism?

* Whoops - I meant 'Mulholland Drive' not 'Mulholland Falls'. Sorry, fitzroyal. I'm still giving it to you tho.

Lawn Bowls vs. Curling

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to tune into some of the Commonwealth Games coverage (after watching 'The Karate Kid Part II' and trying to watch some Jennie Garth movie).

Now you'd think with all those events, they'd have something better to show than Lawn Bowls. Now there's a game I don't understand. It's meant to be similar to curling except it's on grass and there are no brooms involved but I just don't get it.

Give me curling any day.

Anyway, I gave up on the Lawn Bowls to watch 'Mulholland Drive'... what the hell is this movie about? I couldn't work out if it was a piss-take or what decade it was set in or why my arms were sometimes bending backwards.

I ended up aborting that effort as well once 'The Simpsons' came on. I might try watching the movie again next weekend. If I can't get to sleep or something.

Grrrrr.

It's come to my attention that you may not be able to see anything in that previous post. That's the last time I try to be clever with photos. So here are the photos individually.

This be the building:

And this be the tags:

I was walking down the street one day...

On Saturday morning, I came to work to pick up my computer after we had some server maintenance.

(Sidebar: Surprise, surprise, e-mail is offline this morning. All together now: Stupid bastards!)

Anyway, as I was wandering through the city, I came upon this. I thought it was way cool so I took some happy snaps for you.

Every single window on this side of the building has been tagged. Taggers are bloody determined folk.

Something weird is happening...

What's going on with my blog? >:o(

As if on cue

At 1300hrs, the bagpipes began.

This reminds me of Canada Day in Winnipeg

Debris hits Games audience
By Peter Ker, The Age Melbourne
March 17, 2006

The fireworks that highlighted Wednesday's opening ceremony have become the subject of a WorkCover investigation because spectators were burned by falling debris.

Embers from a fireworks display towards the end of the ceremony landed on hundreds of people in ground-level seats at the MCG.

WorkCover spokesman Michael Birt confirmed the watchdog had contacted ceremony organisers.

"We will be looking at the way the pyrotechnicians set up. We will be looking at the physical plans to see if anything needs cleaning up for future displays," he said.

The pyrotechnic elements of the ceremony were carried out by Howard and Sons Pyrotechnics.

In today's Commonwealth Games headlines...

'Australia's Swim Stars Sink'

Nice, really nice.

Why don't you tell them they're all fat too?

A message to my readers:

Hi Jimmy and Kim! Where are my pappadums?

Top o' the mornin' to ya!

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.

Seeing as I'm not Irish, St. Patrick's Day has never really meant much of a muchness to me. However, seeing as our office is above The Celtic Club, St. Patrick's Day is one of my least favourite days of the year.

From 9am, we are 'treated' with bagpipe music, piped out of the PA system. Although there are no speakers up on our floor, we can hear it loud and clear. I think last year they had a live bagpipe.

Then there are the various functions and bands. Two years ago, they set up a portable bar and were selling Guinness sausages and a pint... at our main entry.

Also, because we share our floor with Irish-associated businesses, we get a *lot* of visitors who are in various states of 'celebration'.

Good times. To be sure, to be sure...

Please note...

I actually had no intention of watching the Opening Ceremonies of the 18th Commonwealth Games last night but seeing as I live in Richmond, which is merely 2-3kms from the MCG, I couldn't help but get sucked in.

All the helicopters made it sound like the Tet Offensive 1968 and I tuned in because there was no other way of knowing if we were actually being invaded or if it was just more fireworks.

No, I'm not a fatalist.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

http://stuffinmyhome.blogspot.com/

I was going to create a blog called 'What's in your fridge?' but JGT and I discussed it and what's in your fridge qualifies as stuff in your home.

Please feel free to forward any photos you'd like me to put on this blog.

JGT made me 'admin'... *evil laugh*

p.s. I didn't choose the template!

Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony Blog Brief

If I had broadband, I would be doing this live. Alas I don’t have broadband so this is my blow by blow account of the Opening Ceremonies which I’m going to post as soon as the last firecracker has exploded.

• Giant slide show presentation about the previous 17 games (this being the 18th Commonwealth Games, formerly the Empire Games).
• Down to the Yarra with the Surf Lifesavers and the fish… it’s all about the fish.
• The Flying W Class Tram arrives.
• Introduction of Random Politicians.
• Betty Windsor has entered the stadium! How cute, she had a blanket over her lap while in the Rolls.
• Australian Anthem. Betty looks like she has her crankyskirt on.
• LOADS of fireworks.
• Back to the Surf Lifesavers… they do have 5kms to row, you know
• A boy and his duck. *shrug* It’s a Michael Leunig thing.
• It appears as if the Qantas choir has just emerged.
• The boy is chasing the duck through the sky on his skateboard. Now he’s caught in the Arts Centre Spire.
• Some koalas have come to the boy’s rescue.
• Yes, KOALAS.
• A tribute to Melbourne’s weather.
• Song of Welcome.
• I wish Ray Martin would shut the hell up.
• Swooping birds.
• 200 people with Remembralls (Harry Potter reference).
• This boy is no Nikki Webster (thank goodness!).
• The Australian Ballet vs. guys on motorbikes. So far, this is the best part of the ceremony. There’s a band singing ‘Under the Milky Way’ and this section is just hot.
• Ballerinas are flying.
• Ballerinas are on fire.
• There must be a rigger shortage in Melbourne.
• Woo, the Cat Empire. What a HUGE band! As in numerous band members. Not HUGE like U2.
• The Athletes Parade.
• Prince Phillip is falling asleep.
• Where the hell is Jersey?!?!
• Wales – bad outfits. But I think I’d like to go to Wales. *cheeky cheeky grin*
• Sometimes the best part of big time TV events like this is the ads. They’ve just aired my most favourite ad in the world.. It’s the Victoria Tourism Yarra Valley ‘Run, Rabbit, Run’ ad.
• Looks like the AFL Captains are carrying the torch up the spine of the fishes. Mark Ricciuto of the Adelaide Crows nearly stacked it. Them fish must be very slippery.
• CANADA! I want shoes with maple leafs on them.
• La la laaaaaaaaaaa… this is boring. Michael Voss from the Brisbane Lions has the ‘torch’. Is it a torch if there’s no flame? I guess they call flashlights 'torches' here.
• OH NO! They’ve decided to take a break while the Caribbean countries are coming in! This is why no one watches Channel 9 anymore! Stupid bastards!
• Woo... Lauren Hewitt’s Natural Confectionary Company ad.
• There’s only 2hrs 16min left of my computer battery… how long will this take???
• CRAP. I think I just stuffed up Jane’s tipping competition. New Zealand lost their Goal Attack through injury yesterday. That’s netball speak to those who don’t know. Netball… *spits*
• Ok… Australia is about to march out so there will be lots of noise and hoohah. Meanwhile, why are they all dressed in school uniforms?
• I might see if there are any sports that fit into my busy schedule. I think I will try and catch some table tennis.
• *yawns*
• My notebook is burning my legs.
• I hope that boy doesn’t come back.
• I might give this up soon. But then again, Delta Goodrem is meant to sing. And some opera lady is going to sing Happy Birthday to Betty. They’ll sing Happy Birthday but not God Save the Queen. Say it with me: STUPID BASTARDS!
• Now my computer says I have 2hrs 40min left.
• I wish they’d go back down to the Yarra and show Kane Johnson of the Richmond Tigers.
• Betty looks a bit more alert now. She appears to be pointing at Australia and asking why they’re all wearing school uniforms.
• It looks like the Australian team might suffer a few injuries marching into the stadium. They’re all jumping all over each other and knocking each other over.
• Ok… they’re all out. GET ON WITH IT! They’re athletes… Walk faster, I say.
• I think it’s way past my bedtime.
• I wonder who writes the scripts for the announcements. Talk about corny. And how come they aren’t in 3 different languages?
• Back to the freakin’ baton relay. OH. BATON. It’s not a torch at all. Do they even light a big cauldron in the Commonwealth Games? I guess they can’t do that, seeing as it’s a baton.
• Ron Barassi is walking on water. Actually, his feet are submerged so that’s not really on water, is it? It’s not particularly warm today either. Ron’s wearing a white tracksuit. And the Yarra is dirty.
• I wonder if I’ll finish measuring all that concrete tomorrow.
• I didn’t know the Commonwealth Games Federation had a flag.
• There’s Lauren Hewitt! I bet Drama Pittman decided not to stress her hamstring and march in the Opening Ceremonies.
• Blah blah blah… it’s the Athletes’ Oath to Fair Play.
• Some boy is making a speech directed at Betty. Dame Kiri Te Kanawa is singing ‘Happy Birthday’. Oh no… This is just ridiculous. It’s a ‘Happy Birthday God Save the Queen’ medley. That was more embarrassing than the inflatable kangaroos of Atlanta.
• Phillip doesn’t look well at all. Betty is not amused.
• Here’s the last four runners with the baton. They’re going to hand off to Betty. I hope they don’t get disqualified.
• Come on… I had to make a relay joke somewhere.
• I wonder if Cathy Freeman ever gets tired of ceremonial running.
• Ray Martin just called the Governor of South Australia ‘frisky’. (According to fitzroyal, it was Ken Sutcliffe who made the comment)
• One of the Australian athletes has the same digital camera as I do!
• I don’t know how people can climb or descend stairs without holding onto the handrail.
• Finally, the baton has arrived and has been placed on its docking station and the Queen’s message is being downloaded. Betty, however, already has the hard copy. There’s some feedback happening here, sound tech!
• Eleven days… ELEVEN DAYS. All this hassle for eleven days of competition.
• Betty just declared the Games open. Yay. Where the hell is Delta? Oh... in the middle of the MCG. I hope she doesn’t dance. She’s doing the Celine arm movements. I wonder if they’re going to hoist her into the air.
• Now here are flaming roller bladders. I hope Delta’s dress isn’t flammable. There seem to be a few things that are straight out of Torino. At least there haven’t been any disco clowns. Or snakes. Wait... there were no snakes in Torino.
• I wonder if the athletes are tired. They’ve been standing for an awfully long time. Could be worse… they could be treading water.
• Prince Phillip can’t wait to get the hell out of there. I believe he just asked Johnny Howard ‘Is that it?’ and now Betty is making her way out of the MCG.
• All my neighbours have just simultaneously thrown their windows open to watch the fireworks. There’s no point even trying to go to sleep while all this crap is going on. Jeez.
• I’m wearing jeans to work tomorrow, there’s going to be so much soot and ash out there.
• Looks like they’re blowing up the fish pontoons on the Yarra!
• I feel sorry for the thousands of cats and dogs that are running away from home right now because of the fireworks.
• ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, please get the hell out of the MCG. Last train’s at 12:30. Be nice to the Tram Attendants. Don’t fare evade.’

And that’s it for me. I wonder if I can get a job somewhere in the next 11 days blogging the Closing Ceremonies.

Let me see you 1, 2 step!

It wasn't long ago when Miss Universe came to Australia on an incident-filled promotional visit.

First there was the whole skirt falling off incident at the fashion parade.

Then, as shown below, she took a tumble down some stairs at a media event.

Who would have thought that Hawko would now be one of the leading contenders in Season 3 of 'Dancing with the Stars'???

I *love* it when she 1, 2 steps.

Crap.

After reading the link that fitzroyal left in her comment on a previous post, I've just discovered that Lauren Hewitt has pulled out of the 200m sprint.

Now I have to pick another token Australian athlete to cheer for.

*tsai*

I know...

Go Alice Mills!!! You deserve to beat Jodie Henry, especially after she wore that hideous Wonder Woman outfit as seen in Sunday's Herald Sun!

Who do you think you are??? GINGER SPICE?!?!

They're here! They're here!

Tonight is the opening of the 2006 Commonwealth Games. Yippee.

I thought I had Games fever for a minute but I think that was just an anxiety attack about to happen because there were so many the people in the city this morning at 7am.

Meanwhile, I am VERY disappointed that Volleyball is not part of the Commonwealth Games. I mean, REALLY... NETBALL?!?!? Why don't they just add Cricket?

Stupid bastards.

Oh... and just to prove I'm not completely anti-Australian Team... Go Lauren Hewitt!

Not to cast aspersions...

But a certain media mole athletics 'star' has pulled out of the Queen's Baton Relay citing a hamstring injury.

It's always good to have a pre-prepared excuse for if you pull up short at the forthcoming Commonwealth Games, n'est-ce pas?

Gives all new meaning to the word pitiful. They should change the spelling of that word in her honour.

See ya later! *points to the door*

The Incredible True Adventures of a Hat at The Park Hotel

Just quickly...

We're on Episode 3 of 'Commander in Chief' at the moment.

Now, I'm not really a big Geena Davis fan but fortunately, they have included an incredibly despicable character in the cast to detract from my anti-Geenas.

That's right... the daughter. The older one. I just want to strangle her every time she comes on screen.

The youngest child is also annoying but you come to expect that of all youngest children in any TV series.

Objects in the mirror are drunker than they appear.

For the past 5 months, Tikva and I have been calling each other 'MUHA'. This name came from the Troika Bar sign that we were reading as a test of our sobriety.

Alas, as you can see, the last four letters of the sign are actually 'MAHU'. I guess that shows how sober we really were.

I just had to take a picture of this.

On the rare occasion that I have people over (especially now that I have no furniture - and yes, I'm going to keep bringing this fact up until my new sofa arrives), attention often turns to my very empty fridge.

Well, this weekend, I amazed even myself when I was putting away some groceries and found myself re-organising my fridge to make things fit! I don't think I've had to do any fridge re-organising in the 26 months I've been in this flat.

Anyway, here's my fridge. It's not as aesthetically organised as those found in catalogues, but it's proof that I do have food in my house. And condiments... lots and lots of condiments.

Remember this...

This is my original Bazdaric. Frame by Mama Julie and Aunty Danielle.

I'm back.

I just had a very refreshing 5-day weekend. (Note: My e-mail is still broken... but I'm no longer angered by it.)

No, I did not spend it all in pubs. In fact, I spent a lot of quality time at home.

Now that I have no furniture in my lounge room, except for a crappy IKEA chair which tries to kill me every time I sit in it, I have turned my lounge room into a gym. Well... it's an open space for me to do my humiliating EyeToy Kinetic routines in. And I've re-inflated my punching bag.

This is what my apartment looks like at present:

This is the entry to my apartment. Those are some of my CDs. My beloved bicycle. The fan that I hardly use and need to put away but know that when I put it away, we will have a heatwave. That's my clothes drying horse against the wall. There's the security door intercom thing and my key hook. Notice that my keys aren't on the floor... always a good sign on a weekend.

That's my kitchen. And my 'island' prep bench, which doubles as my junk bench. My DVD collection is underneath, along with some video tapes and my books.

This is my kitchen window where I spy on my neighbours. Also, underneath the Olympic flag (it's the largest 'cloth' I had) is all my DJing equipment. On weekends, I can often be found standing here DJing at the Somerset Street Street Party. I love watching the people walking by looking up to see where the music/noise is coming from. I usually have my blinds at such an angle where they can't see me.

Why I love Tuesdays.

I know I started today with a bitchy post about the Commonwealth Games but I actually love Tuesdays.

The reason why I love Tuesdays is because that's the day The Age publishes Epicure, which is the food & wine section.

And why is that so special, you ask?

Because for reasons unbeknownst to me, I really enjoy reading the restaurant gossip column, 'Espresso'. Every now and then, a name will pop up that I recognise, but the majority of the time, I don't even know what restaurant they're talking about. Sometimes, I have no idea where the suburb is that the restaurant is located in.

Today's Epicure has an article on dining solo.

That is all.

And so it begins... (a.k.a. I have a bone to pick.)

On Sunday night, I was watching television when the news update came on and informed me that the city had been in lockdown as the athletes have begun to arrive in Melbourne for the Commonwealth Games. Yay. Not.

Yesterday morning, as I was walking to the tram stop, I walked past the Richmond Recreation Centre and there were security guards out the front stopping locals from entering the gym. You see, the Richmond Recreation Centre is being used as an 'Athlete Load Zone' according to the signage so anyone who happens to use the pool is currently being shuttled to Fitzroy Pool.

Also in my travels yesterday morning, I saw a lot of tourists out on the street. Now, keeping in mind that the government has decided to delay the end (or is it start?) of Daylight Savings Time because of the games, it is still dark outside until about *looks out the window* now. I'm not quite sure what the tourists were hoping to take pictures of at 7am when it's pre-dawn. Perhaps possums or bats in Treasury Gardens. Or cranky commuters.

And then there are the 'security' guards in their red windbreakers. A bunch of people who sat through an intensive course and had their licenses rushed through the system to mind Melbourne for the next three weeks. Yeah, I feel really safe.

Two weeks ago, the Department of Transport issued a warning to people that over the Games period, public transport will be like having the AFL Grand Final, Grand Prix and some other major event, all on the same day for every day, and if possible, we're to try and work alternative hours. If they want to keep us off the streets, why did they make school holidays coincide with the Games?!?!?

Bring on April, I say.

The weekend.

Here's the brief rundown on the weekend...

Friday night - The Park Hotel.

Saturday day - fruit market ('Get your lovely melons!') and grocery shopping, closely followed by vegetative state on couch.

Saturday night - The Glasshouse Hotel.

Sunday - Severe attack of the anti-socials. Stayed the hell away from everyone.

Hoorah!

*throws stuff*

EyeToy Kinetic, Part Deux

One of the exercises requires that I do handclaps.

I was concerned that my neighbours might think that I'm not quite right with the random handclapping - I keep the volume low so that people can't hear my trainer calling out to me - so I was most relieved when I discovered that my neighbours across the hall have a karaoke machine (I heard them singing the other day while I was doing washing). You see, I thought that maybe people would assume the hand-clapping is coming from them.

When I told JGT this, she said that alternatively, people may think that I'm dancing to their singing. (She didn't say it as eloquently or politically correct either.)

Great.

EyeToy Kinetic

Ok, I thought I had nothing to post today but actually I do.

On Sunday, I decided I would finally start my EyeToy Kinetic 12-week Personal Trainer program. Some of you may remember that JGT bought this for me for Christmas. It's a fitness programme developed by Playstation & Nike Motionworks and has a range of exercises you can do, as well as a personal trainer program, which it works out for you based on your age, weight and fitness prowess.

When I went to start my program, I noticed that I was supposed to be on Week 8. You see, I had actually set it all up about 8 weeks ago and then I guess I saw something shiny and forgot all about it. I was promptly told off by my trainer that it looked like I missed several sessions and would I like to start from Week 1.

To date, I have completed Week 1's program. I had a bit of difficulty with the camera calibration as it doesn't seem to be picking up what I'm doing with my left arm, which screws up my score in the end. Also, if you don't keep up with what you're supposed to be doing, the trainer starts telling you off. Actually, she starts with encouraging words but then she starts telling you to concentrate harder and then gets downright condescending. ('That's ok, that was a hard one,' she said, when all I had to do was kick a 'ball' into the wall.)

Then there was one exercise which I just couldn't follow and I ended up with a really sucky score. My trainer's comment? 'It's okay to get a bad score, it just gives you something to improve on next time!' Grrrr....

Haha... I'm sure she only sounds like a sarcastic cow in my head.

Anyway, I'll keep you updated on how I go. Probably not as frequently as I did with Grand Theft Auto though, which, by the way, I still haven't complete 100% and I'm only a foot soldier because I cheated.

Hmmmm.... Maybe I'll try GTA *without* cheats and start from the beginning. I might have to PG15+ this blog if I do that.

Interesting, but revolting, reading.

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/03/01/china.spitting.ap/index.html

More specifically, I direct you to the 2nd last paragraph of this article.

It was bound to happen.

This just in:

http://winnipeglovescindyklassen.com

Don't worry, I'll get over the Winter Olympics soon enough.

There are plenty of bandwagons to jump on.

Public Transport Etiquette

Last night, I was the victim of three separate personal space infringements whilst on the tram home.

Incident #1 - The man sitting facing me, who was reading a broadsheet newspaper (not folded Armstrong-style) with his elbows resting on his knees so that the top of the newspaper was flapping in my face.

Incident #2 - The man sitting next to me, who was falling asleep and kept slumping onto me as well as spreading his legs further and further. There is NO NEED for your leg to touch mine, buddy!

Incident #3 - The woman behind me, who was wearing her hair in a high ponytail so that it brushed against the back of my head. Someone else's hair touching my hair... *vomits*

Now keep in mind that these three infringements were all taking place concurrently. Needless to say, I was not a very happy camper.

fitzroyal has a full list of etiquette rules which I hope she will one day post, especially in light of the public transport chaos which we are about to take part in.

March Birthday Shout-outs!!!

I've decided to celebrate my 300th post with birthday shout-outs.

So here we go:

• Bridie Harrop
• Michelle Go
• Yan Chuan Tsai - Happy Birthday, Dad!
• Janelle Go - Happy 21st!!!
• Tamara Baligac
• Mary Cheang
• Wendy Bray
• Sarah Cheang
• Sam Takach
• Layla Beavis
• Chase Robinson
• Minh
• Dan Karalus
• Annette Thompson

Danger! Danger!

I am fast approaching my 300th post... so I'd better save it for something useful.

Therefore, this, the 299th post will no doubt be repeatedly updated and filled with nonsense.

But first, I must make an apology. Yesterday, I called the Good Weekend's Samurai Soduku a stupid bastard. Well, I take it back. In fact, I am a dumbass.

Last night, as I was waiting for CSI: New York to begin, I thought that I'd pull out the Samurai and finish off the last grid, only it wasn't where I thought I'd left it. After looking around for a bit, I checked my recycling drawer and found the Good Weekend sitting at the top of the pile.

So I flipped open the page of the Samurai... only to discover that it was complete.

It appears that I *did* in fact finish the Samurai on Monday night. I just failed to remember that I finished it.

I should probably be afraid... be very afraid.