I'm a Star 1.

Went to roller-skating lessons on Saturday morning. I reckon I was at least 23 years older than everyone else having lessons but I had no shame. I'd rather fall down in a controlled environment around other people falling down then going for a full face plant on the street!

Our teacher, Shona, didn't bat an eyelid when we entered the rink. She was amazing. Her skates were like an extension of her body... like she was born with them. While she was instructing us, she was skating around and doing little tricks and I think she knew that we thought she was just a little bit cool... especially when she skated backwards and toe-stopped.

Anyway, the first part of our lesson was to learn how to T-start, T-stop and fall down. I was the least graceful of everyone doing the crouch and slide. I'm just not a slider, which explains some of my more horrendous volleyball injuries. It was rather amusing seeing everyone stretched out and lying on the rink. It was like some B-grade horror movie set in a roller skating rink.

After we had the basics down, we learned to crouch whilst moving forward. Shona thought that we were doing well so she taught us to 'shoot the duck', which is to extend one leg forward whilst crouching. She said, 'Have a go lifting that leg so you're on one skate.'

Easy tiger, maybe once we're Star 2s.

Then we learned to scissor skate, backwards scissor skate and jump. I reckon I got a good 2.5cms between my wheels and the rink on a good jump.

At the end of the lesson, we played 'Come over Red Rover' which is nothing like the playground Red Rover. Any breaking of arms was purely unintentional. Basically, we had to make a mad dash across the rink without being tagged. Anyone who was tagged became a tagger. In the first round, Shona was the only tagger. Watching her stalk her victim was terrifying as she floated across the rink, slowly extended her arm and executed the tag of death. She came after me in the 3rd round but I managed to skate around some kamikaze toddlers and was out of her reach. In the end, I was tagged by Rollerblade Boy who proclaimed, 'I GOT YOU! I GOT YOU!'

All up, it was an exhilarating 40minutes. I was a little bit sore yesterday but today, my right leg doesn't want a bar of me. I've dragged it to work with me against its will.

More next week... I think we're doing a 180 degree jump. I might bring my wrist guards for that.

Jinkies!