GTA Progress Report #6

So I've given you an update on my 'Learning to Fly' expedition. Now a brief rundown on the missions I've completed since then:

Boat School: Seeing as I couldn't fly, I decided to learn how to pilot a boat. These lessons weren't too difficult and were a lot of fun... except for when I had to jump 55 metres in a hovercraft and couldn't hit the ramp on the correct angle. The first time I went through Boat School, I managed to clear 55 metres on my second attempt. Unfortunately, in a lesson further on, I flipped my boat and drowned. There's no save point anywhere near the boat school so you pretty much have to pass them all at once. Oh well, I didn't mind repeating some of the slalom races.

Fender Ketchup: Now this mission was fun. I had a Mafia guy strapped to the hood of my car and I had to drive around like a maniac until he was so scared that he gave up some info. I crashed a few times and killed him but that's ok. At least I got to practice my handbrake turns.

Explosive Situation: This mission was a pain in the butt. Getting the 4 sticks of dynamite wasn't hard but getting out of the quarry was #&*#^*%!!! I had to use a dirtbike and ride up narrow ramps, do a couple of jumps, yadda yadda... I kept falling off and having to start all over again. There were only maybe 6 checkpoints but it was HELL! Finally, I made it through only to miss the jump over the quarry fence and ended up getting wasted at the gates... and having to do it all over again. Eventually I made it through.

Architectural Espionage: This wasn't too difficult. I killed a tourist, stole his camera, made my way to the planning department, caused a fire, photographed a blueprint, then headed back to see Woozie.

You've Had Your Chips: This mission was very frustrating. The beginning was funny because someone had been bringing in fake poker chips to the Four Dragons Casino (Woozie's casino). The fake chips made a mockery of Woozie as the dragon on the poker chip was wearing sunglasses and carrying a white cane. You see, Woozie likes to pretend he's not blind. It was my job to go to the plastics factory and destroy the counterfeit chip machines. This took me so long because I kept getting killed. Those Mafia guys have very powerful rifles. (Note: A very special thank you goes out to Brooke who gave me a hint on passing this mission.)

Key to Her Heart: I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Millie and she's a Croupier at the Mafia-owned Caligula Casino. She gave me a gimp suit. I need to wine and dine her in order to steal her security keycard. This should be interesting.

The Truth called me. Told me he left a couple of English blokes out in the desert and I had to go find them. So I did and they made me take them to a Snake Farm. Thankfully, there were no snakes shown because I would have had to turn the game off at that point. I don't care if they're animated video game snakes... A snake is a snake and I hate them.

Anyway, after rescuing the Poms from the desert and taking them back into town, I'm now able to complete missions for Ken Rosenberg, who apparently is from GTA Vice City. I'm in the process of trying to complete a mission for him... it involves chasing down 3 ambulances, ramming it, then getting the person in the ambulance to an abbatoir. As I haven't been able to finish this mission yet, I don't know why we're taking him to the abbatoir... but I'm sure there's good reason.

And that pretty much brings us up to scratch. Believe it or not, I did get out of my house this weekend.